


i'll be your home

by neocxxlture



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Dragonflies, Friends to Lovers, Human Mark, M/M, Mermaids!au, Sirens, Supernatural/Magic Elements, Unspecified Setting, background dotae, jaedotae if you're not cowards, just a Silly Summer Love Story, merboy Renjun, slow-burn, soulmates!au kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 13:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18661624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neocxxlture/pseuds/neocxxlture
Summary: Renjun doesn’t know his name. Renjun knows barely anything about him, really, except that he comes to the beach almost every single day in the afternoon, lays down a blanket, and sits. Renjun watches him, regards him write something in the various little notebooks he brings with, looks at him when he sometimes just lies down and doesn’t move for a while, resting. And, sometimes, Renjun silently swims closer (but not too close, because as much as he’d love to, he knows he can’t let anybody see him), when the boy presses a button on a device he brought with him and it produces music.





	i'll be your home

**Author's Note:**

> so this fic is finally finished. after only half a year or something, whew.
> 
> this started out as a silly one-scene idea, and while remaining silly, turned into this - and it became something close to my heart, so i hope you enjoy <3
> 
>  
> 
> [theme song](https://open.spotify.com/track/42HB7NqTtooRK7Lrwvwrq2)

_i’ll be your home._

🌊

As far as the rules of the Siren Court go, Renjun is consistently good at breaking nearly every single one.

He shouldn’t be out here, he knows. He’s been warned time and time again, been reprimanded by his brothers and friends and punished by the Queen and still, as soon as the sun reaches position over the horizon at its peak, Renjun makes his way to the shore.

It’s easy by now, to swim so far from the Island and the surrounding waters he calls home. He’s been venturing out for months, daring to go closer and closer each day. The beach he finds himself at is small and cozy and the sand looks soft and warm and inviting. The beach is cut off from the rest of the world by what appears to be a forest, growing and vast all around where the sandline ends. There are rocks protruding from the depth of the water behind which Renjun hides. They’re sprinkled all over, some a hundred meters away while some rest just a few steps from the sandy shore. He hasn’t dared to come closer than just about fifty meters, though. Not yet. He’s adventurous, but not suicidal.

The beach itself – lovely as it is – isn’t the reason why Renjun keeps on swimming out here against his better judgment and the dismay of his friends. It’s a nice place, but the novelty wore off about fifteen minutes after he’d first discovered it. He’d been swimming around one day, a little bit north of the beach, just surveying the shore from a safe (admittedly, though Taeyong would disagree, surely) distance, when he’d spotted it: a single dragonfly, considerably small in its size but still stunning; he’d watched it lazily fly around, watched it glimmer in the sunlight as it glided above water. It was the first and only dragonfly he had ever seen.

He followed it as it flew and not long after found himself at the beach, and he wouldn’t have come back hadn’t it been for the Boy he discovered there.

Renjun doesn’t know his name. Renjun knows barely anything about him, really, except that he comes to the beach almost every single day in the afternoon, lays down a blanket, and sits. Renjun watches him, regards him write something in the various little notebooks he brings with, looks at him when he sometimes just lies down and doesn’t move for a while, resting. And, sometimes, Renjun silently swims closer (but not too close, because as much as he’d love to, he knows he can’t let anybody see him), when the boy presses a button on a device he brought with him and it produces music.

Renjun is familiar with music, the concept of it. He knows what it sounds like when the sirens do it, he knows what is sounds like in the form of bubbles and he knows what it’s supposed to sound like outside of the ocean. That knowledge, though, never prepared him for the actual thing, and nothing ever prepared him for the way the boy would sing along with it.

Renjun knows singing. Renjun himself can sing. It’s kind of something that he always knew how to do naturally, because there’s only so many ways to lure fishermen and pirates out to the wide open of the water. But this isn’t like any singing that Renjun’s ever heard (and he’s friends with Donghyuck and Doyoung and he has heard a lot).

He’s entranced by it. He even entertained the thought that maybe the Boy was a siren himself, of a sort, because each time the Boy starts (it’s sort of like speaking, but not quite, and his voice is so melodic and low and nice to listen to, to close his eyes to and lean against the rock surface and just be) Renjun feels enchanted, like he wants to go closer (he really does), or like he wants to talk to him and be his friend (he really can’t).

The Boy always stays just until after the sun sets. Renjun silently keeps watch as he gathers his things and leaves by a path through the forest that Renjun cannot see from where he lingers. After he’s left, Renjun hovers, unwilling to leave. But he has to. He always has to come back to the Court.

🌊

“I know where you’ve been,” Donghyuck tells him as soon as Renjun swims to the surface of the Diamond Island waters. He’s sitting on the rocky shore, as if waiting for him, and Renjun fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Will you blab?” Renjun doesn’t really think Donghyuck would; they’ve been friends for too long and their bond is stronger than any rule the Queen could have imposed on them all.

Donghyuck scoffs, but doesn’t actually reply, and that lets Renjun know all that he needs. He transforms his tail to a pair of legs and waits for a minute before he tries to walk out of the water – they always feel a bit like jelly right after shifting. He wobbles his way to where Donghyuck is sitting and promptly throws himself to the ground next to him.

Donghyuck throws his hair over his shoulder and says, “Take me with you next time.”

Renjun has considered that, before; but it’s still dangerous and breaking the rules and it’s one thing when he does it himself and another when it would affect somebody else. “No.”

“Why not?” Donghyuck nearly whines, and Renjun fights off the urge to smile, “I wanna see what’s so good about the place. You run off to it all the time.”

It’s not the place itself, Renjun doesn’t say. He sighs, “It’s nothing spectacular.”

“Yet you keep sneaking off to it everyday, hm,” he replies, “something doesn’t add up, huh.”

Renjun kind of wants to kick him, but his legs still don’t really feel like legs, so he settles on a sigh.

It’s a discussion they’ve had before. He’s sure this won’t be the last time either.

🌊

Renjun hates it when he needs to go out on the sea to lure.

His partner is Jaemin, this time. He can never be sure who’s going to accompany him out to the sea; the schedules change regularly. It is usually Taeyong that tells them in the morning that it’s their turn, and so want to or not, Renjun needs to head off in the direction of the open water, Jaemin by his side.

As much as Renjun doesn’t like the job, he loves spending time with Jaemin, and so even though he’d rather be back on the island or on the beach, it isn’t too bad.

They’re just floating around along the surface, surveying for pirate ships. There aren’t any; it seems to be a calm, pirate-free day. There are fish swimming around them, and Renjun thinks he spots dolphins in the distance.

They pass time talking about nothing in particular, easy and light conversation. Renjun always has fun talking to him, even if sometimes he cannot say whether he is joking or not. Jaemin didn’t always live with them on their Island; he’d moved from a different location when his parents decided to live on land, and so he hadn’t grown up alongside Donghyuck and Renjun.

Maybe that is why Renjun sometimes cannot figure out what he is thinking, despite what he says. Jaemin likes to talk about dragonflies, and that makes Renjun excited – but he likes to joke that he’d seen them around Renjun, and Renjun cannot bring himself to believe him.

He’d seen his dragonfly, and it wasn’t with Jaemin. He’s not sure what that means, if Jaemin really saw one as well – but Jaemin seems to be joking, so Renjun never asks outright.

Nothing happens that day, so as the sun starts to go down, they return home.

🌊

Donghyuck won’t leave well enough alone.

He is annoying Renjun, everyday. So much so that in less than a week, Renjun agrees that he can go with him when he swims out to the beach.

He points a threatening finger at him, “If you get us caught, I’m gonna blame it all on you.”

“You wish!” Donghyuck exclaims, but Renjun sees the smile on his face, and even if before he felt reluctance at the prospect of him knowing about the boy he goes to the beach to observe, now he feels excited to show him.

🌊

His first time coming to the shore Donghyuck swims much closer than Renjun ever dared to venture the entire time he’s been visiting the place. It makes Renjun nervous and jittery, but no matter how many times he tells Donghyuck to stop, Donghyuck keeps swimming further.

They’re so close to the shore that Renjun’s tail keeps grazing over sandy land below. They’re hidden behind a rock, but still Renjun’s heart beats so fast he’s worried it’s going to just stop any minute.

“Well,” Donghyuck whispers to him, head turned towards the beach, regarding the Boy currently sleeping curled up on a blanket, “I don’t know what I was expecting.”

Renjun fights the urge to push him away with his tail, but he does huff, “I told you there wasn’t that much to see.”

Donghyuck keeps his eyes trained on the boy’s sleeping figure, and Renjun watches him too; how the sun kisses his soft features, his brown hair, his colorful clothes. Donghyuck says, “It’s just a human.”

Renjun takes offense, even if Donghyuck had not meant it in an offensive way. “You wanted me to show you – here you go. You can leave now.”

That finally makes Donghyuck turn back to him so he meets his eyes and silently dares Donghyuck to make fun of him, “Woah, easy,” Donghyuck replies, “I’m glad you showed me. I mean,” he looks at the Boy again, “He’s kinda cute.”

Renjun shoves his shoulder, “Shut up.” Though he wouldn’t say so out loud (and certainly not to Donghyuck), he does agree. Renjun has seen many people over the course of his life, mostly pirates, but those were old and wrinkly and oozing with evil aura. This boy is nothing like that. He’s bright and sweet and lovely and Renjun dares to claim he’s the most beautiful human he has ever laid eyes upon.

“So this is what you do?” Donghyuck, still whispering, asks, “You just watch him sleep?”

“No,” Renjun really wants to kick him, “He usually brings this box with him and plays music. I like to listen to it.”

“Music?”

“Yeah,” Renjun doesn’t see the box anywhere around the boy and the bag he has under his head doesn’t seem big enough to hide it, so he guesses he didn’t bring it with today, “Sometimes he... sings along to the melodies.”

He’s a bit disappointed that he’s just sleeping today; while normally Renjun would be content to find him like that, today he hoped he could show Donghyuck why he was so intrigued. “It’s not like our singing. I can’t explain it, I -- It’s just different.”

Donghyuck hums. Even before he opens his mouth again Renjun knows what he’s going to say, “I wanna hear it, then.”

And just like that, after they swim out the next day, and the next one too, it becomes a regular occurrence for them to swim out together.

🌊

Taeyong catches them on their way back, a few weeks after that.

They spent the better part of their afternoon watching the Boy, again. Thanks to Donghyuck and his knowledge of human things (though Renjun doesn’t know where it is he learns all this stuff and Donghyuck refuses to tell him) Renjun learns that the weird singing the Boy does is called _rap_.

Renjun really likes it. He thinks he would want to try it, though he doubts he could be any good at it. His voice is more suited for lullabies.

They’ve been swimming so close (again, thanks to Donghyuck, who has no real sense of self-preservation much to Renjun’s chagrin), they could make out individual words. Renjun knew he was playing with fire, but he couldn’t help peeking out from behind his hiding place, watching the boy’s pretty profile, the movements of his hands as he gestured in time with the beats.

If the boy had looked up and to the side, he would have spotted him. Renjun is glad that he didn’t, but he could have done so at any second and Renjun’s stomach churns as he realizes his own stupidity. He shouldn’t have risked it like that.

Taeyong’s face is closed off and set in all hard lines and Renjun recognizes the subdued anger when he sees it. It’s justified. He’s standing on the beach, motionless. He waits for them to approach him. When they do, they both keep quiet, unable to really meet his eyes. Taeyong regards them, and then says, “Will you never learn?”

Renjun keeps looking at his lean legs, skinnier than they used to be. He remembers Taeyong’s tail; the beautiful, silver color of it, the translucent shimmering fins. He whispers, “I’m sorry.”

There’s a moment, while they all just stand in place, but then Taeyong starts to slowly walk in the direction of the Mansion, and motions for them to follow. They do. “I don’t mean to chastise you guys.” He begins, trying to soften his words, “I don’t mind you swimming around as long as it’s safe. You’ve been getting awfully close to human dwelling. I’m just worried.”

Guilt eats away at Renjun, steadily, a flame inside his stomach. Taeyong continues, “Humans are dangerous. There’s no telling what lengths they’re willing to go to to capture one of us.” There’s so much weight behind his words, and Renjun knows, of course, that he‘s speaking from experience. Taeyong still carries scars for the reminder of human cruelty.

They come to a stop, Taeyong turning to look at both of them in the eyes, his long hair flying around him with the wind. “Just be cautious. I can’t force you not to swim out, but just promise me you’ll stay safe, no matter what.”

They promise, but Renjun cannot shake the bitter feeling of guilt the entire evening. He thought Taeyong would resolutely tell them to never swim out again, that he’d take them to the court or at least to the Queen’s right hand Seulgi to receive some sort of punishment, yet again. Somehow, Taeyong’s acceptance, albeit reluctant, feels much worse.

He tells himself he won’t swim out there ever again.

🌊

His promise lasts him a week before he inevitably breaks it. It’s not that Renjun enjoys the fear and anxiety when he goes to the beach; it’s only that he misses the Boy more than he thought he ever could, enough that he is unable to stay away.

At the very least, he takes Donghyuck with him still, so if things really do go awry, he won’t be left alone to deal with it.

The Boy is there. Renjun’s stomach does a flip upon seeing him; nestled on a blanket, scribbling into a bright blue little notebook. It’s hot, that day, the sun shines down upon them insistently with no clouds in sight to make the heat bearable. The boy is wearing a dark swimsuit, Renjun notes, and he unconsciously leans a bit closer, comes from behind his hidey place to take a better look, and he realizes the boy’s hair is damp and still dripping water, so he must have been swimming.

His gaze rakes over the boy’s features again, the slight dip of his nose, his jaw, the way his fringe keeps on falling into his eyes.

The eyes that are now staring straight at him, squinting.

Renjun throws himself behind the rock so quickly his head spins. He makes a splash, he knows, but he barely hears it over the thudding of his heart in his temples. He thinks he’s going to be sick, he shouldn’t have let himself get distracted like that, that was stupid, he ruined everything –

There’s a hand on his shoulder, soft but firm, and he realizes it’s Donghyuck – that Donghyuck is still there – and it helps to keep him in the moment enough for his hearing to return to him, to hear Donghyuck whisper, “What the hell?”

Renjun swallows, closes his eyes, feels like his heart is about to jump right out of his chest, “I think he saw me,” he whispers back, pitifully, “I’m sorry. I think—“

He doesn’t get to finish, however, as there’s a voice cutting him off, “Hello?”

Renjun opens his eyes, panicked, and only stays still because Donghyuck is keeping him pinned in place. They look at each other, and Donghyuck puts a finger to his lips. Renjun nods, and waits.

The voice comes again, this time a bit closer, “Is anybody there?”

 _What are we going to do?_ Renjun mouths at Donghyuck, who points back the way they came, _Let’s just get outta here._

Before they can move, there’s a splashing noise, and Renjun knows that the Boy entered the water and is now swimming their way, and they maybe have a few seconds to decide what to do – but Renjun is frozen in place and still feels like he’s gonna suffocate any second so he stays where he is and Donghyuck, after one unsuccessful attempt to make him move, whispers, “Turn, turn!” before he disappears below the surface.

Renjun shifts his tail into his pair of legs immediately, along with his swim trunks, grateful that the magic that allows him to change appearance extends to his clothes as well, so they turn along with him. He hears the water splashing about, knows that the Boy is very close, that any second he’s going to appear from behind the boulder and Renjun is mortified.

There is nothing in the world that could have prepared him for the moment when the Boy comes into his view, so close it almost seems like a dream, like something he only allowed himself to ponder over in the middle of the night in the safety of his room in the palace. It’s simultaneously exactly like he imagined and nothing like it at all. He’s looking straight into a pair of bright brown eyes and they are looking back, frowning, face scrunched against the sunlight.

“Hey,” the Boy says, and his voice is so nice, much nicer this up close, “You okay? What are you doing out here?”

Renjun blinks, and searches for some sort of explanation he can offer him, “I, uh – I was swimming, and, uh.” He tries to kick with his legs but they’re still unresponsive and the only reason he’s not going under is that he’s clinging onto the stone.

The boy looks down, as if checking out his legs too, and he asks with concern lacing his voice, “Did you get a cramp while swimming?”

Renjun sees his opening and he’d be crazy not to take it, “Yes. Cramp, yeah. I guess I was swimming for too long?” He laughs, shy, and the boy nods and asks, looking around, “Where did you even come from?”

Renjun’s senses are slowly returning to him, along with feeling in his legs, “There’s another beach, that way,” he points with his thumb over his shoulder in a vague direction of land, “I swam over because I saw these – rocks.”

For a second he thinks the boy will suspect something isn’t right, but he bursts out laughing, “Okay. But doesn‘t it hurt though? Do you wanna come out for a bit?”

“Sure,” Renjun answers. He tries to move his legs, kick them out so that he can stay above water, but just as he thought he would be able to, they refuse to listen to him. His hold on the rock slips and suddenly he’s drowning (well, not really, since he can breathe underwater and all, but he would be if he was human).

He hears a cry, “Woah, woah! Let me help you, here,” and then there’s an arm around him, bringing him up, holding him above surface. He says weakly, “Thanks.” They swim together, Renjun flailing his hands more than really contributing to the struggle, but soon they’re coming out onto the beach. The sand feels warm and soft under Renjun’s feet, and the blanket the boy sits him down on even more so.

He sits down, too. “I’m Mark, by the way. What’s your name?”

Mark. Renjun thinks it really suits him. He really does look like a Mark. He smiles, “Renjun.”

Mark repeats his name, and it sounds special when he rolls it around his tongue, somehow unlike any other time Renjun’s heard it spoken aloud, “Are you from around here? I’ve never seen you before.”

From what Renjun knows about the area (which is, arguably, not that much) he knows they’re close to a village, a small one. That must be where Mark is from if he can come to the beach as frequently as he does, but it also means that Renjun can’t lie and tell him he’s also from the same place. They look to be about the same age. If Renjun attended the normal human high school here, they’d probably have met each other.

“I live about a twenty minutes’ walk from here,” he says, and looks down to regard the things strewn all around the blanket, “Do you come here often? What’s this?” He reaches for a notebook. Mark doesn’t stop him, so he takes it as permission to take it into his hand and look at the words scribbled all across the page. The scrawl is nearly impossible to read.

Mark shrugs, but leans closer, a small smile on his lips, “That’s, uh- something I’m working on. It’s, um, it’s lyrics that I’ve written.”

Renjun knows this, or some of it; knows Mark visits this spot frequently (never when it rains, though) and that these notebooks of his are filled with his thoughts and words and rhymes, but he can’t just admit that because that would be – frankly, creepy as hell. He’s not a stalker, though Donghyuck usually loves to playfully argue otherwise whenever the topic comes up, but Renjun really isn’t. He comes here to watch him because he’s enamored, but he’s always kept his distance and never would have done anything to force himself into Mark’s life.

Now he’s here, because of circumstance and Renjun’s slip in carefulness, and honestly, he wants to be Mark’s friend. Now that he has the chance he’d be a fool not to take it. If Mark is willing to take him into his life, he’s going to be happy about it, but if not, that will be okay too.

“You write songs?” he asks, and Mark eagerly nods. “That’s nice. Show me some?”

“I mean, okay,” Mark laughs, and Renjun notes that as he’s setting up the contraption – which, now that Renjun is close enough to take a good look, looks like some of the contraptions Jaehyun keeps in his room, but not quite – he looks a bit shy, but it doesn’t halt his movements, as if he’s used to doing this. He presses a button and there‘s that melody again, and this close Renjun hears it more clearly, and loves it twice as much. Renjun reads along the words in the notebook he’s still holding as Mark starts his rap, but soon it dawns on him that it must be a different song, because the words aren’t the same. So he diverts his gaze to look at Mark instead, takes in the passion with which he raps, the cute little gestures he makes along with the beats, the way he sways where he sits.

“That was,” Renjun says excitedly as he finishes, “cool.”

“Thanks,” Mark laughs again, “I produce the music, too. Well, me and my friend Lucas, we kinda do it together, and we perform sometimes over at the NCT.”

Renjun has no idea what an NCT is, but he nods as if he does. “You two perform often?”

Mark scratches the back of his neck, “Every few weeks. You should come see us, sometime.” Mark flashes him a smile that has Renjun’s insides melting, “If you liked my freestyle, you’re really gonna like Lucas’s rap. He’s got a low voice and his flow is really nice, he’s amazing.”

Renjun cannot fathom someone being more amazing than Mark, but he keeps that thought to himself. “I’d love to hear it.”

Mark beams at him. Renjun’s heart grows about three sizes at the sight.

He’s really in it now.

At the end of the day, after they’ve talked as much as they could and the sun started to set and left orange and pink hues reflected over the water, Renjun walks with Mark down the little forest path that leads to a street, and pretends to walk the other way than Mark does. After he’s sure that Mark is far enough, he backtracks back to the beach and enters the water.

The weather is still sufficiently warm these days, so the water isn’t chilly as it envelops him, but he shivers anyway. In the evening the water gets dark with the lack of light, and so he can barely see his own hands and he finds his way by instinct and habit alone, heart beating way too fast the entire time it takes him to get to the Island.

Donghyuck is waiting for him, again, and as soon as Renjun breaks the surface he’s throwing himself into the water. “I’m going to kill you myself.” But his voice is strained and too low and Renjun knows he doesn’t mean it and he reaches for him the same time Donghyuck does.

Donghyuck’s grip around his shoulders is tight, but Renjun clings to him just as fiercely. “I’m fine.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, is what you are,” but he doesn’t let go for a few more moments and Renjun gives him a careful, grateful smile when they part and exit the water. Donghyuck goes on, “I’m never leaving you alone again. You can’t be trusted to stay alive.”

He doesn’t argue. Donghyuck goes on, “Now tell me everything that happened.”

🌊

They develop a sort of system, between the two of them. Donghyuck goes with him whenever Renjun swims out, and he always waits nearby in the water while Renjun meets with Mark. What he does while Renjun and Mark talk or listen to music, he doesn’t know, but by about the third day he gets to know.

“You need to introduce me to him,” Donghyuck whines as they’re on their way back home, “It’s so boring waiting on you all the time. There’s only so much entertainment fish-watching provides.”

Renjun almost says, _you don’t need to go with me each time,_ but he’s glad that Donghyuck does that for him and knows Donghyuck would not hear any of it anyway. “Sure.”

Next time, they arrive at the beach earlier, and Donghyuck lies down onto the sand and closes his eyes as soon as they’re out of the water. “The weather is so nice today.”

“It’s the middle of summer,” Renjun sits down next to him, “The weather is nice every day.”

“But today especially,” Donghyuck answers, “You know, I’m excited to meet this human friend of yours.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck hums, “You always talk about him lately. Mark did this, Mark did that. Is he really that amazing, I ask myself? I figured I really need to meet him to find out.”

Renjun kicks sand at his face.

They continue to banter, and Mark arrives about an hour later. Renjun waves to him in greeting, and he approaches with a cute frown on his face. “Hi. You’re early today.”

“Just a little,” Renjun stands up, shaking sand off his legs, “Mark, this is Donghyuck, my brother.”

Donghyuck remains on the ground, though at least he sits up. He salutes Mark, while Mark peers down at him, “Your bro? I didn’t know you had a bro.”

Renjun laughs, guilty; he has more than one brother, though not related by blood, but he doesn’t tell Mark much about his family. He’d rather not lie, and while he can tell him the truth about them all, he doesn’t want to just yet.

“Yeah, I have several,” he admits, and before he can add any more, Mark blurts out, “Do all your bros have long hair?”

Renjun is surprised by that, though he doesn’t really know why; maybe only because it’s such a strange thing to note and ask about. It makes him smile. “I guess so.”

“That’s cool,” he says, and sounds like he means it, though Renjun can’t dwell on it before what Mark says next makes him blank out, “It really suits you.”

Before he can think too long about it (or at all, or do more than stare into Mark’s eyes speechless while his words settle into Renjun’s skin and make it their home), Donghyuck demands to be paid attention to. Mark turns to him and they talk and that at least gives Renjun a moment to come back to himself.

Watching Mark and Donghyuck interacts is fascinating; despite everything Donghyuck had said to the contrary he takes to Mark immediately and teases him as if they’ve been friends for a long time. Mark seems to be just as charmed; he takes Donghyuck’s jibes in stride and throws them back in the same manner. Renjun is glad. He doesn’t fully grasp why, but it means something to him, that they’re getting along: Donghyuck is his brother, the person he cares about the most in the world, and Mark is...

He can’t put a label on him yet, but Mark surely is becoming _something_ to him.

That evening as they’re about to part ways, Mark invites them to the NCT to see him perform next week, “It’s gonna be me and Lucas and some other friends, some real cool seniors, you both should come see us. It’s gonna be fun.”

The show will start at five, but Mark and Lucas might not be the first ones on stage; yet he tells them to get there before five, anyway, that way they can meet Lucas before his set and hang out. With those plans made, Mark bids them goodnight, and disappears down the winding forest path.

Renjun looks at Donghyuck, expectant, waiting for the comments that he’s sure will inevitably follow. Donghyuck looks back, raises an eyebrow.

After a moment of an intense silent stare-down, Renjun bucks first, “So?”

Donghyuck shrugs, “He’s alright.”

Renjun narrows his eyes, standing up, “Yeah, and you also didn’t hang on his every word, starry eyed.”

Donghyuck says, “Of such a dork? Please.” But Renjun notices the blush on his cheeks, and though he wants to, decides not to point it out.

🌊

Before the show at NCT Renjun, Donghyuck and Mark hang out a few more times together. Donghyuck can deny it as much as he wants but Renjun sees the way he, literally, hangs off Mark’s arm while he annoys him with banter and his heart soars. Donghyuck likes Mark a lot, and he thinks that Mark likes him as well, and it means something to him, something within his being that he’s not ready to look for and bring to the surface, but something that brings him comfort just the same.

They haven’t told anyone back on the Island that they’ve made friends with a human boy. Renjun isn’t sure how the others would react, but at the very least Taeyong would be furious with fear; Renjun isn’t looking forward to the conversation they’re bound to have with him, where they tell him they’re planning a trip to the village for Mark’s show. They certainly shouldn’t be planning anything of the sort: the rules are clear.

The evening before the show, Renjun finds Taeyong in the mansion‘s kitchen on the Island. He’s sitting with Doyoung and Jaehyun behind the dining table and they seem to be playing a board game. They all turn to look at him when he enters.

He didn’t expect to have to talk in front of Doyoung and Jaehyun as well, but maybe he should have anticipated it; Taeyong rarely ever ventured anywhere without them.

“Uh, hey,” he starts, “I have something to tell you.”

Taeyong straightens. “Go on.”

And so Renjun talks. He tells him the truth, comes clean about why he always swam out to the shore, how he’d met Mark, how Donghyuck joined them. As he’s talking he notices Taeyong turn stiff, how his lips set in a hard line, and also how Doyoung reacts to that and puts his palm over Taeyong’s forearm in comfort. Jaehyun sits across from him, but he checks to see his expression as well, while his own remains thoughtful.

When Renjun reaches the end of his story, and also the reason why he’s here – that he and Donghyuck want to go to land the next day – Taeyong shakes his head immediately, “No way. That’s too dangerous.”

“I’ll—we’ll be careful.” Renjun tries, “We’ve been fine so far.”

Doyoung frowns, “You just told us the reason you and this boy met was that he caught you looking at him from behind a rock.”

Taeyong adds, “You should stop meeting him.”

Renjun sighs, “I can’t.”

It’s Doyoung that asks, “Why not?”

Renjun hoped he wouldn’t need to tell them just yet, but maybe it’s better if he clears the air about that as well, “A dragonfly led me to him.”

There is silence for a quiet, prolonged moment.

Taeyong asks, “Are you serious?” When Renjun nods, they look to one another, as if communicating by glances alone.

When Taeyong addresses him again, he sounds exhausted, “I still would rather you didn’t go.”

Jaehyun speaks for the first time since Renjun entered the room, “What if I took them there?”

They all look to him, surprised, and Taeyong prompts him on, “What do you mean?”

“I was planning on going to town in a few days anyway,” he replies, “I could go tomorrow instead, and take them with me on the boat. I can keep an eye on them.”

Renjun watches Taeyong cycle through an array of emotions.

“I’ll keep them safe,” Jaehyun says, serious, and Taeyong regards him for a second, like he’s trying to come up with an argument, though in the end he acquiesces and looks at Renjun, “Fine. You can go, as long as Jaehyun will stay with you the entire time.”

Renjun complies, “Fine by me.”

Taeyong sighs, “Just don’t say a word of this to Yeri.”

Renjun feels parts bad and parts relieved. Bad because he knows that Taeyong hates when any of them venture out to shore, and he feels guilty for telling him that that’s what he wants to do. Relieved because he was worried Taeyong would prohibit it anyway and Renjun would have needed to sneak out secretly. He didn’t want it to come to that extreme; he took a gamble with telling them, but he figured it’d be better to just be honest.

Renjun thanks him before he ducks out the door.

🌊

The next day Jaehyun is waiting for them by his boat at the side of the Island. They don’t have a docking bay or anything like that; no one except for Jaehyun needs a vehicle to move between the Island and land. Jaehyun is the only pure human that dwells with them, and even though there are ways they can make him be able to breathe underwater, he prefers to stay above it.

He waves at Renjun and Donghyuck and gives them a warm smile, “Ready to go?”

After they set out, and they’re sitting in the cabin behind Jaehyun at the wheel, Renjun says, “Thanks for doing this for us.”

Jaehyun shrugs, and repeats Renjun’s sentiment back at him, “It’s better this way, than if you were to sneak out without us knowing.”

“Is... Taeyong mad?” Donghyuck asks.

“No. He understands that he cannot keep you confined to the Island forever,” Jaehyun answers, “You’re both eighteen years old, and you are responsible. He has every right to be afraid, of course, but he cannot tell you what to do. He realizes that as well.”

“Irene always tells us what to do,” Donghyuck murmurs.

Jaehyun hears him anyway, “The Queen wants to protect all of you. There’s not too many of you as it is, and after...” He pauses, but Renjun can hear the end of that sentence hang in the air between them, _after you almost lost Taeyong,_ “She has your best interests in mind. But in the end, neither she can really dictate what you decide to do, can she?”

Renjun guesses that’s true. Irene, despite being called the Queen of their Court, isn’t really a ruler in the usual, human sense of the word. She is the oldest Siren alive in their community, and so the title belongs to her; but she doesn’t rule in a way a Queen would over a Kingdom on land. They are of equal stature, all of them – the sirens and the merfolk, the girls and the boys. But Irene does give them rules and expects them to keep them.

In the end, there is only one rule that Renjun cannot break. It isn’t anything of Irene’s – it is the magic that binds him to his home beneath the water and to his family.

No matter where he goes, at the end of the day, he always has to come back to the Court.

🌊

They dock in a bay south of the beach, and follow Jaehyun into town. Jaehyun is familiar with its streets; he frequently visits to buy supplies or other things when he needs them. Renjun isn’t quite sure what it is exactly that he does, but he knows Jaehyun used to sail the seas on a pirate ship with his father and always fixed them whenever something broke.

He leads them to the NCT – which turns out to be a small hole in the wall club. It isn’t even half past four, and they agreed to meet with Mark in front of the NCT so they decide to sit on the curb and wait for him, while Jaehyun leaves for the market after he tells them to be at the boat at eight ready to go back.

Renjun is nervous.

They see Mark arriving from a whole street away; Renjun could recognize him anywhere from any distance, at this point. Their focus is soon shifted to the other person walking by Mark’s side, a whole head taller than him, and Renjun only guesses that it must be Lucas.

They wait for them, and as soon as they’re close enough Mark excitedly introduces them. Lucas seemingly never stops smiling, white teeth on display and eyes crinkled. When he talks, his voice booms around them, and Renjun understand in a second why Mark always praises his tone, “Your hair is so long!”

That is the first thing Lucas says to Renjun. Renjun has kept his hair loose, that day, but Donghyuck opted for a clean bun at the back of his head, and maybe that’s why Lucas only notices Renjun’s long hair – and reaches for it, though he waits for Renjun’s nod before he actually touches it. “That’s so cool! How long did it take you to grow it out?”

Renjun is fighting off the urge to laugh, “My whole life, just about.”

“Wow,” Lucas lets go, but he doesn’t step away, “It looks pretty. I thought you were a girl, at first!” He turns to Mark, “He looks so pretty!”

Renjun is sure his face is burning. He also notices that Mark doesn’t say anything to that – he only laughs, and then is ushering them in “Come on, we need to find good seats.” His ears are red. As Donghyuck and Lucas duck through the door with Renjun and Mark following behind them, Mark leans in to say to him, “Sorry about that.”

Renjun shakes his head, “No, it’s alright. You did warn me.” Mark only said that Lucas was a guy full of life and Renjun didn’t really know what to expect, but he doesn’t mind much if that means that he praises his looks. He can imagine worse things.

They barely find an empty table. There are a lot of people on the dance floor in front of a raised podium at the other side of the room, but Renjun is content to sit down and only observe the show from a bit of a distance. He’s never been surrounded by so many humans before.

Lucas disappears in the crowd as soon as they claim the table. Renjun doesn’t want to ask about that, and Mark doesn’t seem concerned. They sit down, Renjun next to Donghyuck, and Mark opposite him with the last seat left empty for Lucas.

They don’t have time to talk: the lights dim, and a person comes up on stage with a microphone in his hand. The people cheer and clap, loud and unrestrained, and soon a beat drops, music fills the air all around them, and the guy starts his song.

It’s interesting, but it’s not – it’s not Mark, is what Renjun is thinking, and so he only politely nods his head along, and keeps stealing glances of Mark whenever he is sure that Mark won’t catch him in the act. Mark is swaying along with the music, dancing in his seat, and Renjun finds him equally as goofy as he finds him charming. Lucas comes back in the middle of the first song and sets four cups of soda on the table for them.

Five people perform before Lucas takes the stage. Donghyuck keeps commenting on them all in Renjun’s ear but Renjun hears only about half of the quips over the angry music. When Lucas performs, that finally somewhat captures Renjun’s attention – Mark had not been lying. Lucas is really good at this. Renjun compares him to the other people that performed so far and finds them severely lacking.

Lucas does three songs. During the third one Mark stands up, and gestures to Renjun with his hands, _I’m next._ Renjun mouths at him, _Good luck!_

Maybe Renjun is biased, but none of the other guys, not even Lucas, can hold a candle to Mark’s rap. Renjun is so transfixed looking at him, at how confidently he moves on the stage, how he riles the crowd up with his lyrics, that he nearly misses what they’re about. He hadn’t been focusing much on the words before, but he puts in some effort now; and recognizes them as ones from Mark’s notebook that Renjun himself had the chance to read before. It is about Mark‘s life, his aspirations and dreams. It is powerful, and yet hopeful. Renjun’s heart swells.

In his second song there is a line that gives Renjun pause. He doesn’t know this one; maybe it’s new, something Mark didn’t yet have the chance to show him. He freezes, and beside him, Donghyuck does as well.

He can’t focus on the entirety of the sentence, and later won’t be able to recall the whole thing: there is only a part of it that settles in his memory. _The dragonfly that leads me to where I need to be._

Renjun is only imagining that Mark is looking at him, surely. He is a considerable distance away, maybe he can’t even see their table from the stage because of all the lights that swirl around him. But still Renjun thinks that his eyes have somehow found their way to him.

Donghyuck turns to look at him. Mercifully, he doesn’t comment. Renjun thinks his hands are shaking.

Mark finishes his last song, and soon after he returns with Lucas and again they sit down. They watch the rest of the show, two more guys, before it comes to an end and the crowd gradually disperses. Renjun’s ears are ringing with the sudden lack of the music.

“So, what do you think?” Mark asks them, grinning from ear to ear.

“That guy, the red-haired one,” Donghyuck says immediately, “He was awesome.”

“I meant about our performances,” Mark points between him and Lucas.

“You were alright,” Donghyuck shrugs. Renjun thinks that the following yelp that comes from him is because Mark kicked him in the leg under the table.

They continue to talk: about the performances, the other boys, about Lucas. Lucas also asks them some questions, like where do they live, and where do they go to school. They answer vaguely and evade the topic, mention another town and don’t say much else. Donghyuck turns the question on them, and so they learn that both Mark and Lucas finished high school before that summer. Mark’ll be starting his first semester at college this fall.

“It’s not been hard to pick what I want to major in,” Mark admits, “I’ve pretty much decided what I wanna do.”

“Man, I still have no idea,” Lucas says, “I’m not going to college right away. I‘ll see how life treats me first.”

Mark’s eyes settle on Renjun, “What about you guys?”

College isn’t really a thing for the sirens. They get education, but it is specific and nothing like the human academic system; and so they have no plans for colleges. Renjun barely knows what colleges there are. He shrugs his shoulders, “Didn’t really think about it yet.”

Mark gives him a smile, “Well, there’s still time.”

Renjun takes a sip from his soda, just so he doesn’t have to keep up the eye contact.

They talk some more, Lucas recounts them a few episodes of his high school life; funny stories that have them all laughing until they need to wipe tears from their eyes.

Too soon, though, Donghyuck is looking at the watch on his wrist that he’s taken with him today, and telling Renjun that they need to go.

“Aw, already?” Lucas whines, “You can’t stay any longer?”

“Yeah, no, our family is waiting for us,” Donghyuck says, standing up. Renjun follows lead.

“We can hang out again,” Mark exclaims, “And we’ll meet at the beach tomorrow, right?”

“Right,” Renjun tells him before they part, “We’ll see you there.”

Jaehyun is already waiting for them by the boat when they get there, even though they still have fifteen minutes left until eight.

🌊

Renjun panics and lies about where exactly he lives the next time Mark asks him, since Donghyuck isn’t with him that day to help. The first place that comes to his mind is located along the coast a considerable while away, but still accessible enough that it’s believable he could walk all the way to Mark’s beach every single day. He knows the house there is abandoned because it used to be the lair of some pirate crew, before Jaehyun made sure the group of them would move and never come back again.

He wasn’t expecting Mark to know the place when he’d blurted it out. He shouldn’t have; it was a rusty, moldy, run-down building, off-the-road and considerably hidden within a forest. Though Mark’s eyes light up in recognition and his eyebrows fly up into his hairline, “What, really? But that place is basically a ruin.” He says, “You can’t live there.”

Renjun can’t tell him that he lives on the Island for several reasons, beginning with it being the Court to all Sirens in the area and ending with how it officially does not exist, magic and all. So he says, “You must be thinking of another house.”

Mark hums, “But I would have sworn there wasn’t any other?” Renjun shrugs, hoping to take the topic a different way, but Mark adds, “You’ll have to show me, then.”

“Yeah, sure,” Renjun wishes he’d have kept his mouth shut, “Why not.”

Donghyuck sighs when Renjun tells him about it later. “Any place would have been better than that one.”

“I just couldn’t think of one quick enough,” Renjun laments.

Donghyuck hums under his breath, and pins Renjun with a look that Renjun, surprisingly, cannot parse. He wonders what that’s about. “What? What is it?”

“Maybe...” Donghyuck starts and stops, worries his lip between his teeth. He tries again, “I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest.”

“You know I don’t lie to you,” Renjun replies in a heartbeat.

“Alright,” Donghyuck says, “What was up with the dragonfly he rapped about?”

Renjun’s heartbeat picks up the pace. He doesn’t know how to answer: he himself doesn’t know what was up with that. “He did that on his own. I never mentioned—anything about dragonflies.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck continues, “Then let me ask you this: did you ever see one, around him?”

Renjun looks away. That is apparently all the answer Donghyuck needs. “You did! And you didn’t tell me?”

Renjun does feel guilty about that, “I didn’t want to get my hopes up.” He murmurs. “He’s a human.”

Donghyuck argues, “What does it matter that he’s human?”

“The dragonflies—that doesn’t work with the humans, you know that,” Renjun frowns at him, “I saw one and it – led me to the beach. It could have been a coincidence.”

“Those don’t happen,” Donghyuck says vehemently, “I think you’re being stupid.”

“I didn’t ask,” Renjun bits back, but it lacks any real heat.

“You should tell him,” Donghyuck advises, unprompted, “You should bring him here, show him the Island and the Court and tell him about the goddamn dragonfly. He should know.”

Renjun doesn’t want to believe that Donghyuck is right. “But what if-” he whispers, “What if it turns out to really be just coincidence?”

Donghyuck regards him in silence for a moment, before he puts a hand on his shoulder. Renjun leans into his touch on instinct; it is comforting. “Renjun, you’ve believed the legends for as long as you’ve been alive.” He tells him, serious. “Don’t lose your belief now.”

🌊

Renjun can just about imagine the disaster that would be him telling Mark the truth: _Hi, a dragonfly suggested that you’re my soulmate, wanna come with me to the Island I live on with my friends and family and stay there with us forever? Also, I’m a mermaid._

Yeah. That won’t do.

He thought of confessing to Mark about everything before, but something had always stopped him. He’s not sure how Mark would react to all of that, but he can’t imagine he would just believe him – Renjun jokes a lot and says things he doesn’t mean and even for him this would be a sort of stretch. It doesn’t sound like something truthful, even if it is. He thinks that merely telling Mark won’t suffice.

He’s going to have to show him.

There might be a better way to go about this, but Renjun just had not been able to think of one: so a few weeks later, by the end of august when the waters are the warmest they’ve been whole summer, he decides that it’s time, because frankly, there just won’t be a right time.

“Are you free today?” Renjun asks Mark, heart lodged in his throat. He is doing this.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Mark replies, “Why?”

“How would you like a little trip?”

Mark giggles, “Could be fun. Where would we be going?”

“I want to show you where I live.”

Mark stops giggling, but he keeps the smile etched on his lips, “Do you want to? I kind of had a feeling you didn’t want me to know.”

“I do want you to know,” Renjun says, “But it’s... complicated. Do you trust me?”

Mark nods, instantly, “Of course I do.”

Mark is already wearing his wetsuit, and so Renjun steels himself and just takes him by the wrist and stands up, tugging Mark with him to his feet, “Then come on.”

“Wait, my things—”

“You can leave them here,” Renjun says quickly, “No one ever comes here anyway. They’ll be alright.”

“Renjun, wait—”

Renjun stops, and turns to face him. They’ve walked into the water by now. It gently laps over his ankles. “Trust me. Okay?”

They share a silent moment, only looking at each other; Mark’s eyes flick between his as if he’s searching for something. “Okay.” He breathes at last.

Renjun nods, and tugs at his hand again. Mark lets himself be pulled deeper into the water, and Renjun stops walking only when they‘re submerged to about half their chests. Mark looks confused; Renjun can’t blame him.

He says to him, “I’m going to do a spell on you. So you can breathe underwater. Try not to freak out.”

Mark blinks, “You’re gonna--what?”

“I know what that sounds like, but I promise I haven’t gone crazy,” Renjun really can’t think of a better way to do this. He’s sure there are better options, but they evade him at the moment, and this is the one he thinks is the easiest to do: the easiest spell that he knows of to help non-merfolk breathe under the water. His magic is limited.

“I’m not too sure about that,” Mark murmurs back, touch amused and concerned at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and in quick succession takes Mark’s face into his hands, presses their lips together, and drags them both under.

Renjun expects Mark to freeze up, and that’s what he does; Renjun holds him tighter and stops him from moving his head while he focuses on the spell. It’s an easy and handy one, something the Sirens all know how to do in any case they might need it: blows air into his mouth and it forms a bubble that transforms and melds itself to Mark’s face, around his nose and mouth, comes up over his eyes, his ears, hair and the back of his head like a sort of translucent, gooey helmet.

Renjun is 99% sure he did it right.

When Renjun leans back, he sees that Mark has got his eyes scrunched shut and his cheeks puffed out with the effort of holding his breath. Renjun taps him on the shoulder, twice, the movement slow and languid in the water. He speaks, and bubbles float up up up. “Mark, open your eyes, look at me.”

Mark should be able to hear him. He’s still trying to swim up for air, so Renjun needs to hold him by the shoulders, keep him in place, “Just open your eyes and breathe.”

Mark stills. He stops struggling to get out of Renjun’s grip, and after an excruciating moment, he begins to slowly blink his eyes open. The moment their eyes meet Renjun will be able to remember forever.

“Breathe,” Renjun repeats the last time, just one small bubble, and finally Mark gasps for air, though it sounds more like he wasn’t able to keep holding in his breath than he’s taking Renjun’s advice. Renjun sees fear in his eyes for a split-second, replaced by surprise and confusion when he doesn’t drown immediately after. His chest heaves heavily, but he is breathing, looking at Renjun with the biggest, roundest eyes, like he is seeing him for the very first time.

“You can speak,” Renjun says, almost only a breath, and incredibly Mark does. His voice is distorted, though still undeniably his, and the first sentence out of his mouth underwater is: “Am I dreaming?”

Renjun feels the corner of his mouth turn up, just the tiniest bit. “Why do you think you’re dreaming?”

Mark lets out an incredulous little snort, “Because this is insane, god, I don’t—“

Mark’s feet are firmly planted on the floor, toes buried in the sand. Renjun had shifted as soon as they went under. Mark’s gaze travels down along his body, regards his tail for a moment, bewildered. “Your legs,” he says weakly in the end.

Renjun moves his tail, enough only that the sunlight filtering through the water makes his fins sparkle, but not too hard to move himself from where he is hovering. Mark says again, “This is crazy.”

“I wanted to tell you sooner,” Renjun admits, “But I didn’t think you’d just—believe me. If I only said it.”

Mark is still watching the lazy movements of his fins through the water. “I probably wouldn’t have. But still—“

Renjun can sympathize, at least. It is not a revelation that can be stomached easily, he imagines. Mark still looks a bit dazed, but he has started to look around, at the little fish swimming about, behind Renjun to the deeper waters.

When his gaze lands on Renjun again, he asks, “So you live in the water?”

Renjun shakes his head, “Not quite.”

“Well, assuming I haven’t gone completely batshit,” Mark says, resolute tone replacing his earlier shock, “Show me where you live.”

It dawns on Renjun only then, even though he’s reiterated it before, that Mark really does trust him. He takes him by the wrist with a shaky hand, and together they begin their journey to the Island.

🌊

Mark lets himself be tugged along by Renjun, though he tries to swim on his own as well. If Mark were to do that, though, Renjun figures it would slow them down and also tire Mark out considerably, and so he propels them forward with his tail. Their hands had shifted at some point, even though Renjun can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened – he found Mark’s hand in his, palm to palm, grip strong and sure.

He’s trying not to let it rattle him. It doesn’t mean anything.

The journey between the Island and the beach usually takes Renjun about half an hour. It takes the two of them longer than that to finally arrive to the surrounding waters. If it was only Renjun that was making the track, he would swim along the bottom, much deeper than they are now – but even if it’s safer down there, it’s also much colder. Renjun is naturally resilient to cold water and pressure, but he doesn’t think Mark would appreciate the temperature and strain on his body.

It makes it easier to spot the island, too. As they get closer, though, Mark points down, and asks, “Whoa, what’s all that?”

The court is divided into two parts – the Island part and the underwater part. There is a mansion on the Island where most of them spend their days, but the Queen and her crew like to stay down in the underwater palace. From where Renjun and Mark hover, they can see only a giant structure, statues and cupolas. Renjun doesn’t like to visit when he doesn’t need to, but he does agree that it is a beautiful thing; arches and ornaments and jewels as far as the eye can see, vines and plants clinging onto the stone. The Island mansion has been built in the same design, but Renjun understands that the water and bioluminescent plantlife make for an incredible image that cannot be mirrored on land.

“That’s the Court,” he answers Mark’s question, simply and honestly, “That’s where the Queen stays.”

Mark nods, and Renjun finds it cute how he’s taking it in stride, “Can we go closer?”

Renjun shakes his head, “I’d rather not,” he says softly, “It’s really cold down there, and I worry that the pressure would be too much on your body.”

Mark keeps looking at the palace, like he’s thinking Renjun’s words over, or maybe just taking the sight in for a few more seconds. Renjun tugs on his hand, gently, “Come on. There’s more I want to show you on the surface.”

That makes Mark pay him attention again. He looks at him with surprised eyes, “The surface?”

Instead of answering, Renjun tugs him along again as he starts swimming in the Island’s direction. He can see the outline of the submerged part of it already; it is not too far from the Palace, for simplicity’s sake. They need to be able to come and go as they need, after all.

As they get closer and it becomes apparent there is a structure before them they are heading towards, Mark asks, “What is that?”

Renjun looks at him and finds brown eyes looking back, and maybe it’s the water or the protective bubble around his head that makes them look bigger than they usually appear, “This is where I live.”

They come to a stop. They are close enough to the surface that Mark can stand on the sand, and so Renjun lets go of his hand. “As soon as you break the surface, the bubble will pop.” The implication here is clear: he won’t be able to go under again if Renjun doesn’t do the spell for him.

Mark nods. There is a lock of Renjun’s hair that floats slowly in front of his face, obscuring his vision for a moment. With a laugh Mark reaches out and brushes it away before Renjun has any chance to move. “Your hair is so long.” It is not said in a teasing way. It is not said in an annoyed way. It’s just said – with a bright smile lightening up his whole face, the ghost of a laugh in his throat, eyes fixed on Renjun’s own.

Renjun has always been able to breathe underwater, but somehow he still feels like he’s drowning.

He gestures with his hands, “Let’s go.”

Mark is the first to break the surface, though Renjun soon follows. He watches Mark as he takes in the sight in front of him; as he regards the small neat beach that they have here, their entry point to the island, as he looks at all the trees and bushes and flowers adorning the edges. There is a stone pathway that leads up up up and at the end of it the Mansion stands, proud and elegant and glistening in the sunlight. Renjun knows it well, knows the corridors and rooms through and through, looks at it every day and still sometimes the beauty of it catches him off guard.

The look of wonder on Mark’s face is priceless. He savors it for a moment more, commits it to memory as best he can, and then says, “Welcome to the Diamond Island.”

“This is...” Mark starts, but doesn’t finish.

“This is...?” Renjun prompts him.

“I’m still not sure I’m not dreaming,” Mark says. He walks forward, and so Renjun quickly shifts his legs so he can keep up; but of course as soon as he turns he can’t feel them and he makes a splash and gives out a yelp as they give out under him.

In a moment hands grip his forearms and hold him above water, “Woah, what’s wrong?”

Renjun holds onto his shoulder, steadying himself, “My legs,” he explains, “It takes a while for them to work after I shift.”

When he looks at Mark’s concerned face, he is reminded of a different, but similar moment. Their first meeting was only months ago: it was the tender beginning of May when they first met face to face. It feels like it was years ago, even though it is only the end of August now. Granted, Renjun had known Mark prior to that, having discovered him in March, but still it wasn’t that long ago.

He wonders just how many times he will look into Mark’s eyes today and think about how lovely they are.

Mark helps him to shore, supporting his weight with an arm around his waist. He helps Renjun sit down but he himself stays standing, looking around still. “How is all of this here?”

Renjun has to crane his neck to look up at him. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not on any of our maps,” Mark explains, “But it’s not even that far from our town.”

“The Island cannot be discovered,” Renjun answers, “There is magic around it that keeps it hidden from prying eyes. You wouldn’t have been able to find it if you tried, not without my help.”

“Magic,” Mark hums under his breath, and then fixes Renjun with a searching look, “Is it a spell? Like the one you did before?”

Renjun shakes his head, “That’s different. The magic exists, regardless of us,” He wants to explain as simply as he can. “Our kind – my kind – we can’t usually cast spells the way other merpeople can.”

Mark frowns, though it’s more because of the sunlight beating at his face than it is anything else, “What’s different about your kind?”

“We are called Sirens,” Renjun tries to move his legs now, and finds that feeling has returned to them, finally, “We don’t possess as much magic. Our specialty is singing.”

That, for some reason, makes Mark laugh, a beautiful sound to Renjun’s ears, “You can... sing?”

Renjun smiles, wryly, “It isn’t singing the way you imagine it.”

Mark says, “Show me.”

Renjun resolutely replies, “No.” He can’t. All their songs are crafted to lure and enchant and daze the people they’re meant for: he cannot allow himself to do that to Mark. “It would mess with your head.”

“That’s a shame. I think you would sound pretty,” Mark says, slowly, “Judging by your voice.”

Renjun rationalizes it in his brain the moment the words leave Mark’s mouth. He is interested in music, so it is understandable he would look at it from a point of curiosity and professionalism, in a way. Yet still Renjun’s heart picks up the pace. He doesn’t want to let himself hope for anything, knows it is more than futile; but Mark is still smiling at him and Renjun has never been known for an ability to resist his urges anyway.

Before he can do anything stupid, like blurt out how he feels, from the corner of his eye he catches movement: a figure coming toward them down the stone pathway. His heart lodges itself in his throat, because he’s not ready to confront Taeyong or anyone else just yet; he realizes that he’s acted on impulse and that bringing Mark to the Island without letting them know was so, so foolish of him—

The figure comes closer and becomes clearer, and relief washes over Renjun when he sees it’s only Donghyuck.

As he comes closer, he greets them, an “Oh, hi Mark,” that doesn’t sound surprised in the slightest. It was his idea to bring Mark to the Island after all. Renjun figures he expected him to follow up on it.

“Jaemin is headed this way,” Donghyuck tells Renjun, “So unless you’re planning on explaining this whole situation to him right now, I’d say get out of dodge.”

“We’re going,” Renjun stands up, feet steady enough now, “Thanks. Cover for me?”

“Don’t count on it,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes, but his tone is warm and fond and Renjun knows he can count on him, always.

Renjun says to Mark, “Come on,” and leads him down the beach. “We need to go around.” He throws over his shoulder.

“Why?” Mark asks, but he is closely following behind Renjun as they duck into an underbrush, following a twisting path through. “Are you keeping me a secret?”

Mark asks that with a laugh, but Renjun’s heart seizes, because that is exactly what he is doing. “It’s just better if they don’t see you.” He adds, after a second, “Yet.”

“But then why did you bring me here?” he still sounds a tad bit amused, though his tone is gentle, “I don’t want to get you into trouble.”

Renjun can feel his cheeks heat up. It is a good thing Mark is walking behind him and can’t catch a glimpse of his face, “I didn’t want to lie to you anymore.”

Mark doesn’t answer. Renjun is glad he cannot see his face either.

They pass by the side of the mansion, and when Renjun continues on through the trees away from it rather than head to the back entrance, Mark asks, “We’re not going in?”

Renjun shakes his head, “Not today.” The mansion is pretty, he can’t deny that, but a lot of its beauty rests in its facade; their rooms aren’t anywhere near as glamorous. “There is something else I want you to see.”

It takes a few more minutes of walking through the forest behind the mansion. Here the trees huddle closer together, but there is still a faint, forgotten path that Renjun follows with ease, and soon the forest spits them out on another beach.

It isn’t just any beach. It is Renjun’s favorite place on land.

He realizes that calling it a beach is being maybe too forgiving; it used to be a beach once upon a time, but now barely resembles a ghost of one. It is overgrown with plants and flowers and grass, spanning the entirety of the once rocky shore.

The flowers there are many and they’re of various sizes and sorts and colors; there are red ones, petals big like leafs, there are blue ones with petals long and thin, or yellow ones that look like roses but aren’t quite. They sparkle in the sun like jewels, and glow in the dark when it sets beyond the horizon. They must be bound to the magic of the Island, Renjun guesses, because he’s never seen their likes outside of it.

At the backdrop of the flowers lies the wide open sea. There is no other island or land in sight, there is just water, endless and tranquil. It makes for a breathtaking scene.

“I come here sometimes,” Renjun confesses, “I like to sit among the flowers and watch the sun set over the water.”

He is watching Mark’s face, watches the wonder that is apparent in his expression, the way his eyes sparkle as he looks over the flowers and the ocean. “That must be amazing,” he breathes out.

Renjun allows himself to smile, unrestrained, “It is.”

Mark’s eyes settle on Renjun. They stand close together, so Renjun can see each detail of his face, his unthreaded eyebrows, the little bit of red tint over his skin where the sun has burned him, his still damp hair that falls into his eyes. He is stunning. Renjun thought he’d known of beauty, but Mark puts every single flower there to shame.

Renjun’s heart stutters when Mark takes a step toward him, not breaking eye contact. And then Mark yelps in pain, almost falling over, “Ow, my leg!”

When Renjun looks at the foot Mark is now holding up, he sees that he’s gotten scratched just below his ankle. Blood flows from the wound, not too much of it – it doesn’t seem deep, but the red is startling against Mark’s skin.

“Shit,” he breathes, “How did that happen?”

“I don’t know.” Mark looks over the wound, smears the blood with his fingers before Renjun bats his hand away, “It’s not that bad. Barely hurts.”

“You just almost fell on your ass,” Renjun reminds him.

Mark scoffs, “It only took me by surprise. I’m fine.”

“It’s still bleeding,” Renjun says, “Here—sit down.” He guides Mark to one of the bigger rocks nearby and kneels in front of him when he does sit on it.

“What are you doing?” Mark asks.

Renjun inhales. “I want to try something,” he replies, “Just stay still for a second.”

Mark lets Renjun take his injured foot and watches as Renjun puts a palm over the wound. It’s been some time since he last tried a healing spell and he is aware he is in no way a healer – that is more Doyoung or Jaemin’s forte, if he’s being honest, and he’s always been more skilled with his voice – but he can try. It is not a deep wound. He should be able to do this.

He concentrates on casting the spell, focuses all his energy to his hand covering Mark’s skin, feels it produce a sort of balm, the same gooey quality to it as the bubble he’s made for Mark before, only this one is tinted green. Renjun smears it over the wound and scowls at how it mixes with the crimson of Mark’s blood. He puts on a generous layer, and they both regard as the wound stops bleeding, and slowly closes, until finally the only indication that it was ever there is the green layer of film.

“You can wash that later in the water,” Renjun says, standing up, and finds Mark gazing at him with his mouth hanging open, so he suppresses a smirk, “What?”

Mark takes a moment to reply, “And you expect me to not think I’m hallucinating, when you do something so- incredible,” He shakes his head, and then laughs, but Renjun gets the impression it is to himself only, “How many more powers are you hiding?”

Renjun shrugs, “That’s about it. I am not a healer. I’m not really good with general magic either. I can do easy spells, but I’ve always been a Siren first. I just sing.”

Renjun can sing, but he’s never enjoyed it. He knows it is what they do, and they need to do it; but he’s never felt like it was right for him. He is good at it, he’s one of the best at the Court, but that does not mean he needs to take joy in it. There is a bit of resentment in him still, for having his path chosen for him instead of being able to choose for himself. But such is the way of their kind, and Renjun knows this, and so he swallows his complaints down, until he can’t feel them crawling at the back of his throat anymore.

“I really want to hear you sing,” Mark says.

Renjun looks over the water, and feels something stir in his heart, part pleasant and part dark, “I told you before. You can’t.”

Mark goes on, quietly, “Then tell me about it.” He then gestures to the direction of the house, “Tell me about your life here.”

There is curiosity in Mark’s voice, and his expression is open and honest and bright, and Renjun- Renjun doesn’t know what to do with all the feeling in his chest, so he sits down next to Mark, and does as he’s told – he talks about his life.

He talks about how he’d grown up there on the Island, how he’d been trained in luring even though he didn’t like to swim out to sea and do that, how instead he always liked to swim closer to land and explore around those waters. Mark listens to everything and interjects with questions whenever he wants to know more about something, like Renjun’s education (he’d been schooled in the Palace, but not in the human subjects Mark is familiar with) or his parents (they live in different waters) or the other inhabitants of the Island (there’s not too many of them here, but Renjun mentions Donghyuck, and Jaemin and Jungwoo, Taeyong and Doyoung and the Queen with her court of advisors, like Seulgi and Yeri, and tells him a little bit about them all).

Time flows by, and as the evening approaches Renjun can’t shake the nagging thought that he should tell Mark about the dragonfly and be done with it – but he finds that he can’t. It should be easy now, after he’s showed Mark so much, after he laid the truth in front of him on a golden platter, but still he hesitates. It’s one thing to tell Mark that he is a creature of the sea, when he can back those claims with proofs, when he can show Mark his tail and make him see that he is talking about something that is real; it is another entirely to tell him about a legend that, for all Renjun knows, is just that.

And so he keeps it to himself, even though he knows he shouldn’t.

The sun makes its way across the sky and as it starts descending Renjun figures it is time for Mark to return home, while there’s still light outside. He leads him back down the winding path of the forest, the way they came, and Renjun first makes sure the beach is empty before they make their way into the water once again.

Mark seems to shuffle his feet when they stop as the water comes up to their shoulders. He seems nervous, and if Renjun looks close, he notices his ears are red. Renjun himself finds himself somewhat flustered as well; he needs to do the spell for Mark again.

The way sunlight hits the features of Mark’s face nearly makes Renjun lose his breath. He is burning in different shades of gold, and Renjun is helpless, really, can’t do anything but stare, rooted in place and unable to move. The water is warm, incredibly so. There is the slightest breeze blowing over their heads, and it feels colder on his skin than the summer wind usually does, and so Renjun distantly feels like that this is it for the summer, that it’s run its course: he can’t help but feel this is the end of it. And Renjun does not want summer to pass just yet.

“Ready?” he asks Mark, and Mark nods. “Just hold your breath underwater and wait until I tell you it’s okay to breathe.” Now that Mark knows what he’s getting into, Renjun is sure he can do the spell for him without directly breathing air into his mouth so he doesn’t drown, and it’s easier; they both go under at the same time, Mark with an inhale and Renjun silently. Mark is keeping his eyes shut tight, face distorted in a grimace, cheeks puffed out; it is adorable. Renjun allows himself a laugh before getting to work, secures the bubble around his head in a minute, and then taps him on the shoulder when he’s done. “Should be alright, now.”

When Mark opens his eyes, Renjun gets the impression he wants to say something. It’s not really that he sees it in Mark’s face, though maybe he does, but it’s just a feeling, that somehow he knows there is something on Mark’s mind. But Mark doesn’t say anything, and it’s getting dark fast, so Renjun grabs his hand and they swim toward land as fast as Renjun can make them go. He doesn’t talk, either; he gives Mark time to think, if he needs to.

They reach the beach just as the sun disappears behind the horizon. There is still some light, but it’s late in the evening, and Renjun should hurry back. He hesitates. They’re in the water still, and Renjun is reluctant to leave.

Mark breaks the silence first, “Thank you for showing me your home. And—everything else.”

Renjun smirks, “You won’t tell anyone, will you?” He doesn’t think Mark would. Not that anyone would believe him if he did, anyway.

“Who would I even tell?” Mark laughs, “Lucas? He would think I’m crazy.”

Renjun guesses that’s true.

Mark says, “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

Renjun wants to thank him for that, but his chest feels too tight. He needs to go, before he gets ahead of himself – he needs to clear his head. He points behind himself to the water, murmuring, “I should go.”

“Yeah, sorry, I don’t want to keep you, it’s gotten really late,” Mark tells him.

Renjun is still slow to move, “You could visit again, if you want. Whenever you want.”

Mark smiles, “I’d love to.”

It is at the tip of Renjun’s tongue: the confession, the truth. But Mark tells him gently, like a kiss of the wind to his skin, “You should hurry back. So you get home safe.” He is the first to walk away. He gets out of the water, towels off at his blanket where he left his things. Renjun watches him gather them in his hands and turn to look at him one more time. He waves goodbye to Renjun, and walks away, down the little path between the trees.

🌊

He sulks when he returns home. It is unfortunate that Jaemin finds him on his way to his room: Jaemin notices something is wrong immediately and does not stop questioning him about it for the following two hours.

Renjun cannot tell him. He feels stupid, and he feels guilty. When it becomes clear to Jaemin that Renjun will not spill his heart to him, he turns to other measures of comfort: he wraps himself around Renjun like an octopus and doesn’t let go.

Donghyuck finds them tangled on the bed, and slumps down right next to them. It is extremely hot and Renjun feels like suffocating in between their bodies, but the cuddling is pleasant; it soothes his mind, at least a little bit. Donghyuck gives him a pointed stare, asking a silent question, and Renjun can take one guess at what he means – he shakes his head and looks away. Donghyuck shuffles closer.

Jaemin disentangles from the pretzel they’ve formed after another hour. He leaves them in Renjun’s room, and Donghyuck sighs, sits up on his bed and looks around. Renjun can feel his cheeks start to burn, even if he has no reason to feel shame; Donghyuck has seen his room before, countless of times. But Renjun still seldom gets self-conscious – Donghyuck is looking at the posters on his walls, the drawings Renjun has made over the years. They depict dragonflies, in different sizes and different colors.

Renjun had been fascinated with the concept ever since he was a child. He’d heard the legend from his father, the first time. Dragonflies had always been regarded by his kind as magical, sort of revered and admired – there were books about them, illustrations, carvings in the walls of the Palace, statues in the court. Renjun had found them pretty and interesting before he knew what they represented, and came to love them so much more after he learned.

“It is only a story, Renjun,” his father told him, so long ago now, “We can’t tell if it is really true.”

But Renjun didn’t care, whether it was true. He wanted to believe that it was – it was a wonderful thing, to think that somewhere out there, there was a person that was just his. He was too young to understand fully what it meant, but to Renjun the prospect of it seemed incredible – he had a best friend somewhere in the world, someone who he was meant to meet, someone who he was meant to love unconditionally.

He never stopped believing, even as he grew up. He’d get skeptical at times; he lived in the Court and knew everyone there – they were his brothers, though not by blood, and he couldn’t imagine one of them to be his soulmate. Donghyuck came the closest, but Renjun recognized that what was between them was purely platonic. The legends told only of mermaids and sirens and other creatures living in the water; there was no mention of humans. For all Renjun knew, the dragonflies appeared only when the universe felt like two people really were destined to be together. It was a push in the right direction, a course correction of sorts.

That is not to say that his faith did not waver. He just wanted to believe. There were times when he felt stupid for it, like a child believing in fairytales. His heart told him one thing, and mind told another, and so he suffered through sleepless nights thinking about fate, and what it really meant.

He probably would have lost his belief, had it not been for Doyoung and Taeyong. Their history was complicated and their relationship even more so, but they proved to Renjun that the dragonflies existed, that the stories were real – and that was all that Renjun needed.

Donghyuck sighs, still looking at one of the pictures on his wall, “Why didn’t you tell him?”

Renjun answers as honestly as he can, “I am afraid.”

It is not rare to see Donghyuck serious, but it is a bit startling when Renjun sees anger in his eyes when he turns to him, “Is this about him being human?”

Renjun meets his eyes right on, but his insides feel shaky. “What is your point?”

“My point is,” Donghyuck emphasizes, “why should it even matter? Renjun,” he cuts Renjun off when he’s about to interrupt, “You like him. That much is obvious. But let me ask you this: do you like him for who he is, or only because of the stupid dragonfly?”

Renjun is speechless, for a second. When he followed the dragonfly to Mark, he had been excited more than he can say; that much is true. He cannot deny that he felt disappointed when he found a human at the end of its path, even if it was only for a moment. It feels so silly in retrospect now; Mark turned out to be so much more than Renjun could have ever bargained for.

When he finds his voice again, it sounds small even to his own ears, “I like him for who he is.”

Donghyuck softens his voice, “I know how much this means to you. More than anyone I want this to be true for you.” He pauses. “But if it isn’t – would that be such a big deal? You can still like him, dragonfly or not.”

He is right – Renjun knows that he is right. Still his heart aches at the prospect. He wants this to be real. He needs this to be real. If he takes away the dragonfly, he takes away years of his life, and he is not ready for that – he’s not sure what will remain of him if he does.

There is one more thing weighing on Renjun’s mind. “I don’t even know if he likes me back. If he could ever like me back.”

“You won’t know unless you tell him,” Donghyuck reminds him.

Before Donghyuck leaves him room for the night, he tells him one more thing. He says: “I think Mark would be an idiot not to like you.” Renjun does not reply, even though he wants to, that it’s unlikely that he would, that human boys usually don’t like other boys. He lets the sentence hang in the air, and Donghyuck shuts the door after himself quietly and leaves him to his thoughts.

🌊

Renjun and Mark meet the following day, as per their schedule. They laze around on the beach on Mark’s blanket and talk about anything that comes to their minds, and throughout Renjun can’t stop thinking about Donghyuck’s words. They replay inside his head, over and over and over like a broken record, _you won’t know unless you tell him._

At one point, Mark says, “We’re having another performance next week, me and Lucas.” He is not looking at Renjun. “The last one before school starts.”

Renjun feels nervous, for a reason he cannot decipher. “Is that an invitation?”

Mark nudges his shoulder, but still won’t turn to face him. “Yes. I’d like it if you were there.”

Warmth spreads through Renjun’s chest at that. “Okay. I’ll go.” He wonders whether he could persuade Jaehyun to give him a ride in his boat again. “Should I ask Donghyuck as well?”

“Of course, yeah, Donghyuck too, if he wants to.” Mark says, and Renjun gets the sudden impression that he is somewhat distracted, like he’s thinking about something else entirely. He seems to shake himself out of it though, as the next second he sighs and turns to Renjun with a smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Renjun wonders what that is about. He wants to ask, but Mark beats him to it and changes the subject. The matter is promptly forgotten at the back of Renjun‘s mind.

🌊

Donghyuck refuses to go with him, no matter how many times Renjun tries to convince him otherwise. He claims he’s doing it for Renjun’s own good. Renjun cannot figure out what he means by that.

He also doesn’t know why Donghyuck is adamant about helping him get ready. He sits Renjun down on his bed and doesn’t stop being annoying until Renjun lets him do his hair. He pulls two locks of hair from each side of his face and pins it to the back of his head with a flower pin.

Renjun squirms where he sits, “Is this necessary?”

Donghyuck shoots him a glare. “Just trust me.”

It’s not that Renjun doesn’t trust Donghyuck – he would trust him with his life in a heartbeat. But Renjun can feel his cheeks heat up as he looks at himself in the mirror after Donghyuck puts a silver long earring in one of his ears. “I can’t go out like this.”

Donghyuck crosses his arms. “You can, and you will.”

Renjun watches the earring sparkle as he angles his head. There is a little dragonfly there from which three silver stripes dangle. “Hyuck, it’s too much.”

Donghyuck sighs, and turns Renjun by his shoulders to face him. “It’s not. It’s exactly enough. You’re freaking adorable. Mark doesn’t stand a chance.”

Renjun’s face is burning, he’s pretty sure. “Is that what this is about?”

Donghyuck shrugs, “Someone has got to help you, if you yourself won’t do it.”

🌊

Jaehyun gives him a double take and then a grin when Renjun approaches the boat. He doesn’t comment, but still the back of Renjun’s neck prickles and he wants to hide. He could take the pin and the earring out, could go with his hair loose the way he usually does, but he cannot deny that he himself is curious. He looks pretty like this, he can admit that much – and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to know how Mark would react to this.

So he keeps the hair and the earring and ignores Jaehyun’s knowing, amused looks while they make their way to land. With each minute they get closer and closer to the town’s port he gets more nervous, and he curses Donghyuck for abandoning him.

Jaehyun walks him all the way to the club this time, keeping comfortable chatter between them. They agree on the time they’ll meet at the boat again, and then Jaehyun leaves for the town center, and Renjun idles on the sidewalk waiting for Mark. He took a watch with him, to make sure he’d be on time. He is ten minutes too early.

He sees them both coming down the street. There is no mistaking Lucas‘ big build and Mark’s nest of hair, not even from a distance. Renjun takes a deep breath. And then another. And then one more.

They seem to be laughing about something, and only notice Renjun after they come closer. Renjun can see that Lucas stutters for a second, and Mark’s face carries surprise and then, after that passes and gives to another emotion, his face is unreadable, even if he never loses the smile.

Lucas leans down to whisper something in Mark’s ear, retreating with a giggle as Mark’s hand comes up to punch his shoulder. He laughs again and then they’re in front of Renjun, but Lucas only throws him a “Hey, pretty boy! Good to see you!” with a wave before disappearing through the front door of the club. Mark comes to a stop face to face with him, and Renjun watches him rake his eyes across his hair, his face, and the earring.

“Hey,” he says. Renjun‘s stomach tingles.

“Hi,” Renjun replies. Mark’s gaze burns everywhere he looks. “Donghyuck couldn’t make it.”

Mark blinks, like he’s processing the words. “That’s fine.” They’re still looking at each other. They’re so close Renjun can feel the heat off his body. “You’re here.”

From the door, a voice calls out, breaking into their bubble so violently that Renjun startles. “Mark, they need you in backstage!”

Mark jumps back from him. “Right.” He waves at the guy that yelled at him, “I’ll be right there!” To Renjun, he says, “Let’s go in.”

After entering the club, there’s music already reverberating through the place. “You can find a seat. I’ll find you after I perform.” Mark tells him over the noise, and after Renjun nods and wishes him luck, they part ways.

Renjun looks for a secluded table, not really feeling like mingling with the crowd on the dancefloor. He feels nervous, surrounded by so many people now that he’s alone, when he doesn’t have Donghyuck or anyone else by his side. A guy bumps into him as he makes his way through the mass of bodies, and gives him a glare so harsh it takes everything within Renjun to defiantly stare back and not cower.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he sits down. It takes about another ten minutes before the lights dim and the performances start. To Renjun’s surprise, Mark performs first.

He is just as good as Renjun remembers, maybe even better. Renjun allows himself to admire his voice, once again, the lilt of it, the color, the tone, the way he fits all together to create his art. Renjun isn’t sure he could ever hear something quite like it ever again; so he savors it, closes his eyes and lets Mark’s voice wash over him, surround him, settle in his skin and make it home.

At one point, Renjun opens his eyes again to watch Mark. He is too far from the stage, he knows this, he must be – he’s sitting at the very back by the wall. There is no way that Mark can see him. Bus still he feels like Mark’s eyes are glued to him, that when he raps, he raps _to him_ , and he feels itchy and raw, like there’s a current in his veins, alive.

The performance is over before Renjun can get enough of it. Another person takes Mark’s place on the stage and in a minute Mark is throwing himself in the chair next to him. Renjun notices a bead of sweat trail from his temple down the side of his face. Mark’s wipes it off with his hand before Renjun can reach out.

He asks something, but Renjun can’t hear it over the music. “What?!”

Mark leans in close to his ear that Renjun can both feel his breath on his skin and hear his shout, “Do you want a drink?”

Renjun figures why not. He feels like he needs it. “Sure!” He shouts back.

“Okay!” Mark takes him by the wrist and squeezes. “I’ll be right back!”

Renjun watches him disappear in the crowd again. He still feels jittery, but this is different than his previous nervousness. Like something had shifted in the time Mark took stage, like the reality around Renjun realigned itself. He feels electric.

Mark comes back in a few minutes, identical glasses in both hands. He gives one to Renjun. The drink is a startling blue in color. Mark sits down, and Renjun takes a sip; it is good, a sweet taste that leaves a burn in his throat. He likes it.

They don’t get much chance to talk, while the other guys perform. Renjun doesn’t mind. He is content to lean back, now that Mark is next to him, and just look at his face as he watches the stage. Renjun sips his drink carefully, but Mark gulps it down nearly all in one breath. Renjun notes that his cheeks are red.

Renjun only pays attention to the stage when Lucas is on it. After his set, he too makes his way to their table. It appears that the event has ended: the music dies down, the lights come back on, most of the people on the dancefloor trickle out of the club.

“Man, you killed it!” Mark exclaims when Lucas throws himself to a chair at their table. “That last song was insane!”

“Thanks,” Lucas is grinning at them so wide Renjun thinks his mouth must hurt. He’s also drenched in sweat. “You weren’t bad yourself. How’s that for ending summer with a bang?”

Mark giggles, and they proceed to do a fist bump across the table. Mark nearly knocks over Renjun’s drink. “Shit, sorry.”

Renjun waves a hand. Mark asks him, “Do you want something else? We’re friends with the bartender. All the drinks are free for us tonight.”

Renjun refuses, as he’s still got his glass half full, so Mark asks Lucas what drink he wants and after Lucas tells him, he is off to fetch it for him. When they’re alone, Lucas fixes him with a look Renjun can’t really figure out, but doesn’t inherently think is bad. It only strikes him a bit strange; it’s like Lucas knows something he doesn’t.

“What is it?” he asks. Lucas shakes his head and giggles into his hand, “Nothing, man.”

Renjun wants to push it, but before he can a boy approaches their table. He greets Lucas, and shoots a curious glance at Renjun.

“Jeno!” Lucas boasts, and stands up to fist bump him in greeting, “What’s up, my man! I thought you’d said you wouldn’t be able to make it today.”

“Well, I managed to figure that out,” Jeno, apparently, says with a pleasant smile, “I didn’t want to miss your last show.”

“Mark’s gonna be happy to see you,” Lucas says. “Come on, join us.”

Jeno sits down beside Lucas. “Where is he, anyway?”

“He’s getting us drinks,” Lucas says quickly, and then introduces Renjun to Jeno promptly when he sees Jeno give him another curious look.

“So you’re the guy Mark can’t shut up about. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He laughs softly, just a puff of breath. Renjun notices that his eyes disappear into little crescents when he does so. “We were beginning to think you weren’t real.”

Renjun is stuck at the first part of that. “He talks about me?”

“Oh, all the time,” Jeno says, while Lucas giggles into his hand again.

Renjun feels the back of his neck burn. Before he can ask Jeno to tell him about that in more detail, an exclamation reaches their ears, “Jeno!”

Jeno turns to face Mark with the sweetest smile Renjun’s ever seen on anyone. “Surprise, hyung.”

Mark is carrying glasses in both hands. He sets them down gingerly. Lucas reaches for one. “What are you doing here?” Mark asks, and it’s evident in his face that he is glad to see him.

And then Jeno says, “I had to come.” Still smiling. “You know I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I didn’t see you off properly. Who knows when you’ll come back.”

Renjun freezes. He does not miss the quick look Lucas throws him, and he’s not stupid, even if Donghyuck likes to argue otherwise – he wasn’t supposed to hear that. His heart is beating in his chest and his limbs feel heavy like lead, but he makes himself move, take his cup, sip his drink.

He doesn’t look at Mark. He lets them converse on, change the subject swiftly to something else and unrelated, and he listens and laughs where needed and speaks when prompted. He’s not going to make a scene, not here and not because of this. He’s not going to make a scene because he realizes with a saddening jolt to his heart that he’s already known so somewhere at the back of his mind.

Mark is leaving.

When Renjun dares look at him, he feels his heart seize. Just seeing Mark, the glint in his eyes, the redness in his cheeks, feeling the heat of his body next to him and then on him as Mark throws a hand over his shoulders and cuddles him, it feels like too much, like he cannot handle all the affection that swells within him.

He’d gotten so used to him in the past few months, meeting him as often as he did. It feels like Mark is an integral part of his life now, a brick in the foundation that if removed will make the entire house go falling down.

Mark is leaving, and Renjun knows he cannot follow. He’s not sure he’ll be able to bear to part with him.

Renjun tries to not think about it, for the duration of the evening. He needs to meet Jaehyun at the port at ten, and so until he has to leave he doesn’t want to dwell on things that he cannot change, even if they make him ache. If this is Mark’s last proper show here, his last hangout with Jeno and Lucas like this, then Renjun doesn’t want to ruin it, his own feelings be damned.

At nine forty-five, he tells Mark softly, “I need to go.”

Mark offers, “I’ll walk with you.” He waves off Renjun’s protests of _you don’t need to, you can stay with the others if you want to,_ and instead says his goodbyes to the other two boys. He hugs Jeno tightly, does a handshake with Lucas, and then with a last wave to the boys the both of them make their way outside.

They walk side by side in charged silence. They’re both reluctant to breach the subject.

It’s Mark that speaks first. His voice is like a whisper in the breeze. “It’s pretty late. Will you be alright getting back?”

Renjun keeps his eyes on the ground. “I’m not swimming home. Jaehyun is waiting for me at the port.”

“Oh,” Mark says, “Okay. I — ah, nevermind.”

That makes Renjun look at him. He can’t see too well under only the light of the lampposts, but he thinks Mark is blushing. “What is it?”

Mark rubs the back of his neck, “I thought- you could stay over at my place. We have a guest room. I didn’t want you to go back alone when it’s so dark but if Jaehyun is taking you home...”

Renjun’s stomach stirs. He sighs, “I appreciate that. Really.”

“But?”

Renjun wonders why it’s so hard to make the words come out of his mouth. “I cannot stay.” He manages. “I always have to go back to the Court.” He’s pushing it even now, being outside the Island so late in the night, but he figures as long as he doesn’t spend the entire night on land, he should be okay.

They fall into silence again. It lasts until they reach the bay. Jaehyun is waiting for him, moving about the deck, getting the boat ready for travel. They stop walking. Jaehyun hadn’t noticed them yet.

Mark touches Renjun’s forearm, lightly. Renjun meets his gaze. He thinks his expression betrays hurt, but maybe that is only Renjun’s own anguish reflected back at him. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

There is something about his eyes that roots Renjun where he stands. “Yeah.”

Neither of them moves to leave. Renjun kind of wishes Mark would just turn around and walk away, to make it easier for him. He’s not strong enough to do so himself, not after his inner turmoil of the past hour and a half made the inside of his mind a mess.

Mark doesn’t walk away, though. He keeps standing in front of Renjun, keeps holding on to his arm, looking in his eyes, over his face, his mouth. Renjun is a ship lost at sea in the middle of a storm, struggling to stay afloat.

“Renjun,” Mark breathes out, taking a step closer.

“Yeah?” he croaks out, barely a sound.

“You’re—” Mark starts, but doesn’t finish, letting the words hang in the few inches between them. He slowly raises his other hand to fit it around Renjun’s cheek, thumb brushing over his skin. Renjun’s eyes flutter close with a shaky exhale. He grips Mark’s wrist with his own fingers.

He never gets to learn what it is that he is. Mark’s hand gently tilts his head, and so he knows it is coming before he feels it; Mark’s lips burn against his own. He applies light pressure, only enough to fan the embers within Renjun’s stomach so they don’t die out, but don’t start a fire. The kiss doesn’t last long, but still when Mark pulls back Renjun is left gasping for breath.

When Renjun opens his eyes, he finds Mark closer than ever before. “Jaehyun is waiting for you.” He whispers.

Renjun scrambles to return back to the moment. He needs to go home. He feels dizzy and disoriented. “Right. Yes. Jaehyun.”

Mark gives him a smile, a tiny one, just the corner of his mouth lifted up. He is looking at Renjun with an expression Renjun doesn’t at all know how to deal with. “Tomorrow?”

Renjun squeezes his hand once. “Tomorrow.” He doesn’t want to let go, but somehow forces himself to do so.

Mark stands by the edge of the bay, watching as they take off. As the distance between them increases, Renjun is able to think clearly again, and reality is quick to catch up with him. His chest feels empty. He fears he’s left his heart behind, snuggled in Mark’s tender grip.

Back on the Island as Jaehyun leads them to the mansion, Renjun cannot help but notice how it looms over him like a giant, dark and menacing. The Island lies in the middle of the sea and the mansion is nothing if not spacious, and still Renjun feels trapped like a bird in a cage.

🌊

He doesn’t sleep too well. During breakfast, Donghyuck tries to get him to talk about the show, but Renjun cannot bring himself to say more than a neutral, “It was alright.” It’s apparent that Donghyuck had been expecting more, but Renjun doesn’t budge, and soon Donghyuck leaves the topic alone. He looks concerned. Renjun doesn’t like to keep things from him, but he needs to talk to Mark first before anything else.

His entire body feels heavy on the swim over. It’s just after noon. The sun is high up in the sky. The water is warm, yet Renjun feels cold anyway.

Mark spots him as soon as he breaks the surface. For a moment they only look at each other. There is a breeze that caresses his skin, makes Mark’s hair dance around. His heart sinks further.

Renjun stays in the water. He doesn’t even turn his tail into legs. He waits, and Mark gets the message eventually; he slowly walks into the water, creating ripples on his way. He comes to a stop in front of Renjun, an arm’s length away.

There’s no reason to beat around the bush any longer than he already has, so he takes a deep breath and simply goes for it. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

“I’m sorry,” Renjun trusts that he is sincere. The water laps at Mark’s shoulders. “I wanted to tell you, I just... didn’t know how.” That’s not unreasonable, Renjun thinks; he also had a similar problem. He knows it can sometimes be hard to approach a topic, knows he shouldn’t feel hurt, doesn’t have a right to, really – but he does.

“When... When do you need to go?” He asks.

“Next week. Me and Lucas,” Mark replies. “We found an apartment near my college that we’re going to share. We have to move in by the end of the weekend.”

Renjun nods. He’s had a feeling Lucas would be joining him as well. “What city?” He asks, although at some level he feels like he doesn’t even need to.

“The capital,” Mark says, lowering his voice. Of course, the capital. Renjun knows about the capital, knows that it is modern and everything a young person could ever want. That it is on the other side of the country.

“You know, it’s—kinda funny,” Mark speaks after a silent moment. He doesn’t laugh. There is nothing amused about his expression. “For years I wanted to leave. I have a dream and growing up I only – followed it, always thinking of what I was going to do when I would be older, how I could choose my future. I couldn’t wait to move. I felt like this place was smothering me. Keeping me restricted.” Renjun’s heart is aching; he knows that feeling well. “And I was counting down the months to when I could finally go. I found a college, and by a miracle I got in, my parents are supportive and my best friend will be there with me. Everything worked out.”

Renjun doesn’t know what to say. Mark goes on, voice a water current washing over Renjun’s skin, “And then I met you.” The wind whispers around them. “And you made me want to stay.”

There is a lump in Renjun’s throat.

“So I don’t know what to do,” Mark admits, hanging his head low. Renjun swims closer.

There is nothing for Mark to think about. His path is clear. Renjun would not be able to live with himself if he made him stay. That’s not what Mark deserves. “You should go.” He says, “You should go to college and follow your dream.”

“You could go with me,” Mark offers quietly.

“I can’t – I don’t even know how to be human,” Renjun shakes his head. “I wouldn’t know how to live on land.”

“We would figure it out together,” Mark says, and the undertone in his voice makes Renjun hurt all over, a silent hope.

“But I can’t.”

Mark’s eyes bore into his, searching. “Why?”

Renjun sighs. He left this out of his explanations when Mark visited the Island. He feels foolish for not considering that Mark could go away, any time he wanted. That he was destined for greater things. “The magic that allows me to turn and sing,” he explains, “It keeps me confined to the Island. If I leave, I lose that connection. I won’t be able to go back.” He would lose his tail, wouldn’t be able to breathe underwater, he’d lose his voice and his other powers too, no matter how undeveloped they may be. He would lose his family.

It looks like Mark will speak, but he seems to think better of it. Renjun figures that neither of them has the right to ask the other to stay or go with them. They have reached an impasse. There’s nowhere to go.

“I don’t want to leave,” Mark confesses at last.

Despite the sun beating down on them, Renjun feels a chill over his body. Summer’s leaving, that much is obvious; Renjun does not want it to go, but he knows that it must, and with it, Mark will too. It is inevitable. There is not much Renjun is able to do about it.

This time, Renjun reaches for him first. Just to take his hand into his own. Intertwine their fingers, tug Mark closer. _I don’t want you to go._ He cannot speak the words, but he hopes that when he kisses him, Mark will know somehow that his heart is screaming them out, over and over and over. That when he puts his hand into Mark’s hair and tugs, that it will convey how much he wishes Mark could stay. When he presses closer, bodies flush together, too close and not close enough, that it will communicate for him what he feels when words are lacking.

Mark’s hands circle his waist, gently. They burn where they touch Renjun’s skin. Renjun cannot press any more to him than he already is but he tries anyway, and Mark hums low in his throat. At some point they need to part to catch their breaths, foreheads resting against each other, Mark’s breath on Renjun’s cheek.

He loses the sense of time, while they kiss and kiss with the water enveloping them all around. They exchange whispers between them, things Renjun will remember later lying in bed when he’s not going to be able to fall asleep. He categorizes it all in his head: Mark saying _i had wanted to do this for so long_ and _i’ve never met anyone like you_ and _you’re so beautiful._

Mark’s fingers are playing with Renjun’s ear, softly tugging at his lobe. He doesn’t expect Mark to say, “I liked the earring you had yesterday.” He withdraw his fingers to put his hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “It was pretty.”

“Thanks,” Renjun smiles, “It was Donghyuck’s idea that I wear it. I bought it a long time ago.”

“It was a dragonfly, right?” Mark asks.

“Yes,” Renjun feels his stomach stir. “I, uh. You could say I really like them.”

“Are there many at the Island?”

“There aren’t any, actually,” Renjun replies. “I only ever saw one.”

Mark laughs. “Really?” And before Renjun can say anything, he adds, “What a coincidence. I saw only one too. In all my life.”

It takes Renjun a moment to process the words. “You did?” It doesn’t mean anything, he needs to remind himself. It doesn’t mean anything to the humans. But it means the world to him. Mark had seen a dragonfly – and Renjun suddenly cannot stop his train of thought from wandering, when did he see it, who was with him, his soulmate is someone else then, Renjun is a fool—

“The day I met you,” Mark says, effectively wiping Renjun’s mind blank. “I was watching it fly about the beach and the rocks when I noticed you there. I wouldn’t have spotted you otherwise.”

When the words start to make sense in his mind, Renjun wants to cry. He wants to – he can feel his eyes start to burn with unshed tears – but he won’t. He feels relief, he realizes, because he wasn’t wrong in his belief after all. But underneath that there is only sadness, pure and all-consuming. Mark is going to leave. Mark is his, he knows now that he is, and still he’s going to have to let him go.

He buries his face in Mark’s shoulder, afraid Mark is going to see the turmoil in his face. He’s not ready to tell him about all this just yet. “That’s nice.” He chokes out of himself, “That makes me happy.”

Mark holds him in a secure grip and nuzzles his face into Renjun’s hair. Renjun knows that he’s smiling when he says, “Dragonflies are weird but fascinating. Sort of like you.”

Renjun’s chest feels too tight.

They are loathe to part, when Mark surveys the sun hanging low on the horizon and figures he should head back home. Renjun doesn’t want to go home either. He surprises himself, but he feels a bit of resentment – for the Court, for the rules, for all that he is. No one gave him a choice, and he realizes that he hates that. From the day he was born his life was decided for him. He is a Siren, and he cannot be any more nor less. This is his life, and there is only one way for him to live it.

🌊

On the way back his body feels so heavy he worries he’s going to sink to the very bottom of the sea. As soon as he returns to the Island, Renjun spots Taeyong and Doyoung huddled together sitting on a rock not far from where Jaehyun usually docks his ship. With an uneasy heart, he allows himself to regard them for a moment.

They seem to be engaged in conversation, paying attention only to each other. They’re holding hands, and Taeyong is snuggled against Doyoung’s side.

Renjun had always admired the two of them. He also always liked their story, misguidedly romantic as it is. He wonders what it feels like for Taeyong, to be back but not be able turn, only able to breathe underwater if someone allows him, does a spell for him the way he did for Mark. His heart doesn’t want to give any of it up; it’s hard to imagine that he wouldn’t have all that anymore, if he were to leave.

But he looks at Taeyong – and Taeyong seems to be doing just fine. He doesn’t sing anymore, but that doesn’t seem to bother him one bit. He cannot swim around the way he used to, but after what he went through, Renjun can understand why he wouldn’t miss that in any way. Renjun doesn’t even know if he misses having his tail, because he never had the guts to ask him though he’d always wondered.

It’s not like he cannot get back to the Island, if he were to change his mind. It’s only that he’s going to lose all that he has – all that he ever had – and he’s scared. He’s going to become human, or as close as his kind can get to that – and he’s terrified of the change that’s about to bring with. There wouldn’t be anything for him left here to do, he wouldn’t fit in anymore – but again, Taeyong is human now as well, and both he and Jaehyun seem satisfied to live on the Island. Renjun wasn’t able to figure out the reason for that before, but now that he sees Doyoung laugh at something Taeyong says, his whole body leaning back and dislodging Taeyong from his place and making him giggle as well, he realizes that maybe the reason was much simpler than he’d previously thought.

He turns away then, gives them privacy. He walks through the trees and around the back of the Mansion.

After a bit of deliberation, he walks past his own room and comes to stand in front of Donghyuck’s. After a second, he walks in.

In a way it feels good to tell Donghyuck about Mark leaving. He realizes only then that he’s felt burdened keeping it only to himself – he still does. He admits that he’s lost and doesn’t know what to do. Donghyuck hugs him and tells him softly, “Just follow your heart.”

But Renjun’s heart had never been so incredibly torn between two things as it is now.

🌊

Now that they’ve cleared the air about how they feel about each other, Mark seems to not be able to keep his hands to himself.

Renjun can relate. He too feels like each second that passes by with him not somehow touching Mark is wasted. He spent time thinking about what it would feel like, to hold Mark’s hand or to kiss him, but nothing could have prepared him for how Mark would claim all of him for himself; Mark had been touchy before, sometimes reaching for Renjun and grabbing him by the forearm, wrist or shoulder, for a few seconds before he would retract his hand. But now – now he keeps his hand in place, or moves it up or down, puts his palms on the back of Renjun’s neck, brings him close to kiss him, runs fingers through his hair soothingly.

They talk, sprawled out on Mark’s blanket, Mark in Renjun’s embrace. It’s light chatter, not something Renjun will remember later; he’ll only remember how it made him feel. Being there, with Mark, feels just – right. Like that is where Renjun is supposed to be. Where he was always supposed to end up. There is no doubt in his mind, suddenly, that dragonflies or not, they would have found their way to each other somehow.

He realizes he’s fallen silent only when Mark pokes his forehead, gently. “What are you thinking about?”

He does not know how to tell Mark how he feels. “Fate.” He breathes out, tightening his grip around Mark. “And you.”

🌊

On his swim back to the Island, Renjun realizes that he is frustrated that he has to go back.

He doesn’t want to. Even the prospect of it – of spending more time apart from Mark – makes him irritated and angry. By the time he gets back, he knows that he is sulking, but he cannot be bothered to pretend to not be.

As soon as he’s able to walk on land, he heads for his beach. It’s getting dark, but Renjun knows this route by heart, and soon he is emerging on the other side of the island. The place is bathed in bioluminescence, the flowers shining bright and shimmering.

Usually, Renjun loves the sight. There aren’t many things that can punch the breath out of him quite like these flowers do, but even those now only fuel his ire. He looks at them and he doesn’t feel any sort of joy; he only feels despair.

Mark is leaving. In a few days, he’s going to move away, and Renjun is going to be left behind.

He’s sitting on the ground with his head resting on his knees when he hears someone approaching.

He thinks it’s Donghyuck, because no one else really knows that he spends time here. When he turns to look, though, he finds out that it is Doyoung walking towards him.

He sits down next to Renjun. It’s quiet for a moment while Doyoung looks over the glowing flowers all around them.

“What are you doing here?” Renjun asks, as it seems like Doyoung will not be the one to start.

“I came to talk to you,” he replies, easy and light.

“What about?” he asks, though he feels like he already knows.

“About this human boy of yours,” Doyoung answers at once, honest as usual. It’s something Renjun had always admired about him, but now it makes his stomach turn uneasily. He remembers the conversation he had with him and Taeyong and Jaehyun, what seems like months ago now. “Donghyuck told me about what’s been going on with you lately.”

He doesn’t even have the strength to get mad at Donghyuck for that.

“You don’t need to lecture me,” Renjun says, deflating. He’s not really in the mood to hear about how he was stupid enough to fall for a human boy and he should have known better, even if it’s true. He is painfully aware.

“Renjun, I’m not here to tell you what to do.” Doyoung says softly. “I want to tell you a story, of sorts.”

Renjun looks up at that, confused. If he’s not here to tell Renjun that he’s dumb, then why – “What’s it about?”

Doyoung smiles, but somehow it looks sad. “Something I haven’t told anyone, not even Taeyong.” He pauses, and Renjun waits. “Do you remember when he went missing?”

Of course Renjun does. It’s not something that he will be able to forget easily; it happened a few years ago, but it remains fresh in his memory as if it had happened only yesterday. Taeyong had swum out to the shallows one day, when he didn’t return back. Renjun still feels the vague horror that descended over all of them when they realized it was night and Taeyong was nowhere to be found.

“Yeah,” he replies quietly.  

“It was the worst night of my life,” Doyoung continues, “And every day after that when he was gone was the worst day I’d ever lived.”

Renjun remembers that as well. They were all scared for Taeyong, worried about him to death, but Doyoung had taken it the worst of them all. He was out on the sea from morning to evening, searching for any trace of Taeyong, and each day he would return barehanded, face crestfallen. Renjun would often find him at night in the Mansion sitting in the kitchen alone, face in his hands. He’s not sure why Doyoung is telling him this.

“I realized a lot of things, during that time,” he says, looking over the ocean, “I was a coward, you know. I—I couldn’t tell him how I felt.” He pauses. “I had felt so much regret, back then. When I realized he might not come back, that I would never see him again, and he didn’t even know—I promised myself then that if he ever returned, I would tell him everything.”

And Renjun knows that he made good on that promise – when Taeyong came back, it didn’t take long for them to get together. “Why didn’t you tell him sooner? You saw the dragonflies.”

Doyoung fixes him with an unreadable look. It takes him a moment to reply, in a voice so quiet it nearly gets lost in the sound of the waves washing over shore, “Renjun, he never saw a dragonfly. Only I did.”

Renjun remembers Doyoung telling him that they’d both seen their dragonflies, shortly after they’d become a couple. He’s having trouble understanding. “But you said—“

Doyoung sighs, “I know. And I’m sorry. I never meant to lie.” Renjun’s heart drops. “I saw the dragonfly years ago. It was just – flying around, vaguely in his direction, and then it disappeared. He didn’t see it. And I was – I was afraid to tell him I saw one. Because if he didn’t, you know.” His voice is so very quiet. “I wasn’t sure what that had meant.”

“So you didn’t say anything,” Renjun recounts.

“I waited. I thought maybe he would see one, too, but he never did. Days passed and with each one I lost confidence to confess. And then he went missing.”

To Renjun, who’s been an observant of theirs for years, this seems ridiculous. He’d seen them interact and Doyoung’s love for Taeyong seemed obvious, but Taeyong’s reciprocation of his feelings just as much. When Doyoung told him about the dragonflies – Renjun thought that they must have known but only kept it secret. The way they cared for each other, how they acted when they were together – all of that now realigns in Renjun’s head in the light of this admission.

Doyoung continues, “Miraculously, he came back. And now he was human, and there was another human with him. You know, the way I saw it, I thought there was nothing here left for him. I didn’t think he wanted to stay. I thought maybe he came back to tell us he was alive, but ultimately he would want to leave.”

Renjun says, quietly, “He wouldn’t just leave you.”

It makes Doyoung’s lips turn up in a smile, the tiniest bit. “The thing is, though, even if he wanted to leave, I was prepared to follow him. If he knew how I felt, if he let me come with him. I’d go with him to the edge of the earth.” He looks at Renjun, then, “Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

Renjun has the feeling he understand the jist of it. He whispers it, nearly, “Are you telling me to go?”

Doyoung wraps an arm around his shoulders. Renjun lets himself lean into the touch. It’s comforting.  
  
“No. Not really. That’s for you to decide.” A pause. “Either way you’ll be giving something up. I think it’s only a matter of figuring out what do you honestly want more.”

Renjun thinks that he’s clear where his heart is pointing him. It’s been doing so for weeks. Doyoung continues. “Decide in a way that won’t make you regret something you should have done but didn’t.” Renjun can feel the heaviness behind those words. “You might not get another opportunity.”

🌊

Doyoung’s words settle in his skin and he cannot think about anything else.

The day he spends with Mark, his focus is on the feelings that Mark instills in him – the warmth, the adoration, the rightness. He cannot imagine another person that could ever make him feel the way Mark does when they’re next to each other, looking at each other, kissing each other.

In a way, Renjun realizes he has already made his choice months ago. Doyoung was right, in everything that he said – either way, Renjun will be giving something up. Standing on the beach, Mark’s arms circling around his waist, he is certain he will not be able to give him up, and so it seems his decision is clear.

“Did you mean it?” he asks, words muffled by Mark’s shirt. “When you said I could come with you?”

Mark leans back enough so that he can look into his eyes. “Of course,” he says. “I think I’d love nothing more.”

Renjun tugs him close and buries his face in his chest. He doesn’t say more.

🌊

It is not easy.

Donghyuck is the first person he tells. He doesn’t seem surprised to hear that Renjun is actually thinking of leaving. Renjun recalls their conversation and Donghyuck’s support and – maybe he’d known how Renjun would decide before Renjun himself did. He always seemed to know him better than anyone else.

There is a bit of guilt, in Renjun’s stomach. He cannot easily imagine actually leaving and leaving behind his entire life, but what makes him pause is Donghyuck’s expression when they’re sitting in his room – he is happy for him, Renjun knows, but he also seems sad in a way.

Renjun doesn’t want to leave him. He’s going to miss him the most out of anyone here. “Hyuck—“

Donghyuck beats him to it, levelling him with a stare that screams challenge that dares him to talk back. “You better visit.”

And Renjun feels like no matter what he would say, Donghyuck would order him to leave anyway. “Okay.” He takes his hand and holds on. “I will. As much as I will be able to.”

“Good,” Donghyuck declares, and then he’s turning away, quickly, shielding his face from Renjun’s eyes.

Renjun scrambles after him, trying to peek through his fingers, “Aw, are you crying?”

“Shut up,” comes a reply as Donghyuck tries to push him away, but he laughs while doing so.

🌊

Taeyong is another person that doesn’t seem surprised by Renjun’s words when Renjun seeks him out. Maybe he reads so on his face, because he gives him a smile and explains, “Doyoung told me.”

“Oh,” Renjun is glad, actually. That makes the whole thing easier for him. “And you’re alright with it?”

“I am.” Taeyong answers, “If that is your decision, I will respect it.” And then, “But I’ll miss you. We all will.”

Renjun swallows against the lump in his throat. “I’ll miss you too.”

Before he leaves to find Jaemin, he asks of him, “Can you talk to the Queen for me?”

“Sure,” Taeyong nods, “I’ll explain it to her.”

“Thank you.” Renjun is overcome with a sense of dejavu as he ducks out the door.

🌊

The only person left that he needs to talk to is Jaemin.

He is not sure why he feels reluctant to do so. He is nervous, for no apparent reason.

He finds Jaemin down by the palace, swimming along the arches that make up the garden. As Renjun nears, he can see that Jaemin seems lost in thought. He’s got an expression on his face that is hard to decipher. He swims slowly, languidly, hair all around him.

“Hey,” Renjun calls out, big bubble floating up.

Jaemin stops and turns to look. There is something about his eyes that makes Renjun’s stomach turn, his nerves still present. He swims closer, so they’re next to each other. “I gotta talk to you.”

Jaemin searches his face, and then asks, “Is this about you leaving?”

He should not be surprised that Jaemin already knows. On a Court as small as theirs, it’s pretty much impossible to keep a secret. “How do you know?”

Jaemin smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes. Renjun realizes suddenly that he seems sad – something he doesn’t associate with Jaemin, who’s usually so optimistic and bright. “Overheard Taeyong talking to Jaehyun.” He’s speaking slowly, like he’s measuring his words. “Sorry.”

“I don’t mind,” Renjun says.

There is a moment of silence between them, while Jaemin seems to be thinking something over still. “So, this human...” he starts, “You saw a dragonfly around him?”

“Yeah,” Renjun still can’t believe that it happened, sometimes. “He did, too.”

Jaemin looks away. “Good. I’m glad.”

And suddenly Renjun understands. It becomes clear so suddenly he feels stupid for not realizing before – all of Jaemin’s claims of seeing a dragonfly around Renjun, his questions whether he saw one as well, the gentle prying – he’d attributed it all to his flirty nature. He’d never considered there could have been real feelings, hiding under that.

He doesn’t know what to say. Is there anything to say?

Jaemin seems to notice him hesitating, “What is it?”

“I—I didn’t know you—” he starts, not sure how to finish. “All the times you said I was your soulmate—“

It doesn’t take Jaemin too long to catch onto his train of thought. Surprisingly, he laughs, and this time Renjun can tell that it’s genuine. “You mean to tell me you didn’t notice?” When Renjun shakes his head no, he says, “I wasn’t exactly subtle about it.”

He’s right, of course. “You’re like that with everyone, though!”

Jaemin smirks, “Maybe. But I don’t tell everyone that I’m seeing dragonflies around them, idiot.”

Renjun lets himself ask, “Did you really see one, though?”

“No,” Jaemin shakes his head. “I only wish that I had.”

When another silence descents into the space around them, Renjun says, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be. It’s not like it’s your fault.” Jaemin takes him by the wrist, and tugs him along so they swim, through the arches and deeper into the maze of the garden. “Now come on, tell me about him.”

And feeling a weight fall off his heart, he does.

🌊

It doesn’t take him too long to pack up his belongings. He doesn’t own too much besides clothes, some accessories and sketchbooks of his drawings. He puts a couple of his favorite books next to his pencils in the bag, and surveys his room to make sure he’s not missing something important.

After he’s sure he’s got everything he needs, he heads down to the port.

Jaehyun is readying the boat, as he did when he was giving Renjun a ride to shore before, but this time the others are there as well, standing around waiting for him.

It feels weird, to have an audience to send him off, but of course – they’re there to say their goodbyes. Renjun promised to come visit, but he is still leaving, officially swearing off his life on the Island. It becomes realer each second that passes, as he puts his bag on board, and sees Taeyong discreetly turn away and wipe his eyes.

Renjun told himself he wouldn’t cry, so he keeps it in.

They take turns hugging him, but eventually it transforms to a hug pile. There’s Donghyuck on his right side, Jaemin pressed to the other. Donghyuck threatens, “If you don’t call me every day, I’ll go to land to find you and kick your ass.”

Renjun doesn’t doubt for a second that he would make good on that promise. “I’ll call so often you’ll be sick of the phone ringing.”

After they disentangle, there isn’t much reason to loiter around. He boards the ship, and with a final nod to Jaehyun, they set off.

He looks back to the Mansion, waving to the others until they become just dots in the distance. He wipes his face clean, composes himself, and after one final gaze to the Island, he turns around to face his new beginning.

He made the right choice.

🌊

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me please i'd love to hear your thoughts! <3 [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/neocxxlture) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/paperplane_127)


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